Monday, December 22, 2008

Assplay in the New Millenium

Can you believe it? There are still people out there -those that didn't read or comprehend the "fingerblasting" post on this smutty blog- that don't realize that you can give a girl a mighty vaginal infection if you fingerblast her vagina after you were playing with her beautiful asshole. The bacteria from the ass does not belong in the vag and can create a "mixed bacterial vaginosis" infection. Actually, so can stress and a bad diet, but it can most often be linked to "mixing" the holes.

One way to avoid this problem is for the guy to REMEMBER which hand he is using in each hole. Perhaps the dominant hand for the vag -subtlety and control is better appreciated in this anatomical cavern- and the clumsier hand for the ass, which while very sensitive, will not suffer from an arousal killing clumsy performance. To me, it seems to take less finesse to finger an ass. Especially from a female perspective, this is just icing on the cake for me, not the be all and end all, so a shoddy performance from the lesser skilled finger is still welcome. Just don't even think about rubbing the vulva with that hand.

Also, the best time to approach this area so your man or woman will not squirm away from it -or you- is when a person is already VERY aroused and almost climaxing. Remember, you don't have to shove it in up to your wrist to get a great reaction, just moving a well licked finger on the outside of the asshole is enough of a start. Take it slow and easy in the beginning, you have to build up to the 9 inch strap on!!! Perhaps a conversation about this to feel the other person out or prepare them a little for what might happen is a good idea, too, so when deep into a physical act, they are not startled by something that could shock them out of your bed.

I have also discovered that some men think that a finger in their ass is "gay" behavior. Hey, getting a pleasurable feeling from the human body is not homosexual, especially if it is a girls finger in your ass. A cock in your ass ....well, you might be gay, but limiting the pleasure you can reap from your physical body is churlish and puritanical, and simply wastes an opportunity to experience something that you may like.

Didn't you ever eat something that you didn't want to because of a preconceived notion (slimy sushi, snails in the shell) that it would be bad, only to discover that you actually liked it? Also, I tend to think that guys stick things in their asses all the time when masturbating, but just don't want their girlfriends or wives to know about it. Thus, they do know the pleasure of the ass but cannot cop to why they have that knowledge.

So, instead of Happy New Year, or Merry Christmas, or Kwaazy Kwaanzaa or Happy Hanukkah, my seasonal greeting is going to be "Try it, you'll like it."

Thursday, October 16, 2008

7 Habits of Highly Orgasmic Women

I will admit, these are not really habits, more like practices or qualities, perhaps they are virtues of orgasmic women. For the ladies, ask yourself, "Do I personify these qualities and what can I do to put into practice these virtues and ideas?" and men (or lesbians) may ask themselves "Does my girlfriend show in how she thinks and acts to be a highly orgasmic woman? How can I send her this message and get her to admit she may need to pay attention to this part of her life instead of putting all the pressure of her sexual satisfaction on me?"

1) No Shame

A highly orgasmic woman loves her body. She considers applying lotion to her dry winter skin as a moment for self massage that...may lead to more, if she plays her cards right. She loves her body and minimizes it's flaws in her own psyche. That's not a beer belly, thats a pillow for a lover. Her tits don't sag, they lovingly rest against said pillow....because who wouldn't want to slide up against her. Plus, when pumped up in a beautiful bra, those ladies deliver cleavage that stops traffic!

2) Know Your Body

A highly orgasmic woman knows her body. She knows the relative depth of her vagina. She knows what angles work for her and which parts like the most internal rubbing. She is aware of and accepts the orgasmic amplifcation ability of the anus. She knows what she likes, and how to get it.

3) Practice Sex Whenever

A highly orgasmic woman has the emotional flexibility to change her mood in order to get over a trivial matter and get it on. She serves shit up cold after she gets off and her man is more willing to see her side of the story. She understands the power of pacification and also doesn't deny her own pleasure to prove a point. Plus, she digs sex and makes it a priority.

4) Sexual Attitude

A highly orgasmic woman is in touch with her sexual attitude and has a personal, emotional, logical, and rational opinion and position on sexual matters affecting her and the world. She thinks about these issues and on a daily or weekly or periodic basis comes to startling and unique revelations about sex and the world because it is on her mind.

5) Imagination and Fantasy

A highly orgasmic woman has the ability to imagine and develop fantasies about sex. She knows this helps arouse her and that telling these fantastic stories to her mate may arouse them also. A highly orgasmic woman has a current "go to" fantasy for her masturbation sessions and one she can whip out for her partner that involves them and perhaps a friend of his/her choosing.

6) Unguarded and Open

A highly orgasmic woman has few filters. She speaks her mind. She gives instructions in the sack. She suggests positions. She adjusts her level of filthy discussion to the proper audience, but she unleashes when it is appropriate. (or inappropriate, she doesn't care, sometimes).

7) Discipline

A highly orgasmic woman has the self discipline to practice every day. Masturbation is practice for a highly orgasmic woman so that her partner can experience the full ability of her body, and get off to the highest level themselves. Just because you have arm muscles doesn't mean you can lift a 100 pound barbell and hold it over you head the first time you try. You need to practice by lifting a little more weight everyday. So, your vagina cannot be expected to do what any other muscle group cannot do. Practice your Kegel exercises and masturbate in anticipation of the next time you have sex with another person and you will be amazed at the results.

Remember, the sexier you feel, the more sex you will want from yourself. The more you do it with yourself, the more comfortable you will be doing it with someone else. The more comfortable you are doing it with someone else, the more you will enjoy sex. The more you enjoy sex, the more you are apt to do it. The more you do it, the better you feel, so have some sex after every meal! And, you never know, if everybody is getting laid, perhaps it can lead to world peace!

Friday, September 19, 2008

Noisy, Screaming, Grunting Sex

Have you ever heard these unwelcome words? "Shhhh. You have to be quiet, we can't wake up my..." room mate, parents, the kids, the guests, the neighbors....whomever will be disturbed by the humping noises emanating from the two-headed beast.

I have always found that -although in the beginning it seems hot- my orgasm is thwarted by stifling my vocalizations during screwing. I'm not necessarily a "screamer" although I have been brought to the brink, but I am a noise maker. I grunt, squeal, breathe heavy, pant, moan, weep, talk, hold my breath, give directions, propose positions, cry out to god, jesus, joseph and mary- the whole holy family gets invited to join in on the good times and get to hear my thanks!

I have had to put a sock in it, literally. Bury my head in the pillows, clamp my mouth on a shoulder (but that leads to embarrassing fart like noises when I start to breath heavily). I'll even groan appreciatively with a dick in my mouth, so while that lowers the volume, it's no solution.

Why is it, I wonder, that noise or words have such an effect on the outcome of the sexual experience? A friend told me she unexpectedly orgasmed during sex when her lover first expressed his devotion. The "I love you" phrase whispered in her ear during sex was what did it for her.

A foreign accent can also make me immediately wet and swollen. The tone of a husky voice, a hushed whisper. They are all such turn ons! I once had a boyfriend who would say my name over and over again during sex, then later in the day or night when he would mention my name, on the phone, to a friend when introducing me, even asking what I wanted to order at a restaurant, I would get so hot because it would bring me back to that moment.

I think any kind of inhibition -including a mute button- limits the bodies ability to orgasm. If you are ashamed of part of your body, or hyper conscious of a perceived fault, or trying to be quiet, it can prevent that wonderful moment.

Martin Portner wrote in an article for Scientific American in their May 2008 issue:

...when a woman reached orgasm, something unexpected happened: much of her brain went silent. Some of the most muted neurons sat in the left lateral orbitofrontal cortex, which may govern self-control over basic desires such as sex. Decreased activity there, the researchers suggest, might correspond to a release of tension and inhibition. The scientists also saw a dip in excitation in the dorsomedial prefrontal cortex, which has an apparent role in moral reasoning and social judgment—a change that may be tied to a suspension of judgment and reflection.

Brain activity fell in the amygdala, too, suggesting a depression of vigilance similar to that seen in men, who generally showed far less deactivation in their brain during orgasm than their female counterparts did.

“Fear and anxiety need to be avoided at all costs if a woman wishes to have an orgasm; we knew that, but now we can see it happening in the depths of the brain,” Holstege says. He went so far as to declare at the 2005 meeting of the European Society for Human Reproduction and Development: “At the moment of orgasm, women do not have any emotional feelings.”

Really, you can't be thinking of anything; fears, anxieties, your fat thighs, or anybody listening and probably at the moment that you are coming, you aren't making a sound. So shhhhh....

Friday, September 5, 2008

Ahhhh I love the Wood.

I am starting to think about wood. Size, sensitivity, hardness, age, refractory periods, holding back orgasm, spilling the seed, obesity, medications, all things related to wood. The amazing staff of life, (sorry bread, but woman cannot live on you alone) it's many shapes and sizes. The curves that scratch the insatiable itch.

Size: Does it matter? a big Yes is probably the most honest answer, but having a small dick doesn't inhibit orgasm for your partner. The size and quality of your self esteem has a bigger effect than your dick size. I have found that smaller dicks are more sensitive (see sensitivity below) -and they are easier to blow. Smaller dicks fit perfectly in your mouth and don't take hours to reach orgasm. They don't hurt your jaw muscles after hours of sucking. They still rub you raw after hours of fucking, and are far more comfortable when shoved up the asshole. So there, big cocked guys, the little masters of the less endowed enjoy pleasures you may never know.

Sensitivity: It stands to reason that smaller dicks are more sensitive. The same number of nerve endings, on average, because every human is different, are spread across the area space of the flesh of the cock. I knew a guy with a super huge dick -didn't know him in the biblical sense- that would complain to me how long it took him to come because he was not that sensitive. This sensitivity could also a bad thing for that smaller cocked man. If it takes the woman they are screwing a long time to come, and if their dick is very sensitive, perhaps they cannot hold out long enough, and might come before she does leading to some level of disappointment.

This leads us to...

Hardness: I have found that the more a man is physically active on a regular basis, following a physical practice that is demanding -yoga, martial arts, basketball, running, cycling, hockey, weight lifting- the harder his dick becomes. I think this can be attributed to the presence of male hormones that are activated by the stress placed on the body. Testosterone is being released in a timely, predictable manner. And I think these physical activities assist in maintaining circulation of the blood which in turn increases the amount of blood able to flow into the cock. Whatever the physical reason, there is nothing better than a hard cock no matter what size.

Age: Well, it happens to us all if we are lucky enough to live a long time. Age and the depletion of the production of hormones allows for a softer dick that may not experience orgasm every time it fucks. This is okay for the ladies, just an ironic role reversal. Now we want it every night, and our men are nervous and embarrassed about their ability to perform -will I get hard, will it stay, how will it feel, will I be able to do it again if I don't satisfy her the first time?

Wait a minute...we're about to address the...

Refractory period: is way, way longer now if you do get off. So, you won't be able to fuck again for a while if you do give into the big release. Age and hormones really affect this ability, this feeling that you could go again and again, the feeling that you thought would never leave, has now left with the glow of youth.

Holding Back Orgasm: This taoist practice is said to decrease the refractory period, increase the sensation of orgasm, steal the energy of the woman you are with and deliver her youth and vitality-her "jing"- to you (but only if she orgasms, of course, there is always a catch). This practice claims to build the energy that might otherwise be lost and contain it in the body and mind allowing a man to focus on complicated tasks or to reach levels of enlightenment that might not otherwise be possible in a human that is dissipating this orgasmic energy at every opportunity. Some can do this after much practice using the Kegel muscles to contract at the point of orgasm, some simply apply pressure to the "taint"at that special moment thus stopping the flow of juicy goo and absorbing that goodness again and again.

Spilling the seed: Nothing like a final release, right? Especially after a nice cheap massage. Premature ejaculation is another issue. You need a very patient woman and practice, practice, practice to build stamina and resistance to coming. Plus, during the training time -cue Rocky movie theme music, da na nah, da na naah- the premature quick-draw-McGraw must have other skills to rely on so that this mate is motivated to help him and not a frustrated mess. (see fingerblasting post and cunnilingus post for some tips)

Obesity: Lose 20 pounds, gain an inch of cock length, I've been told. I think this works for two reasons. First, an optical illusion; remove flab around your midsection and all of a sudden that inch that has been tucked away is exposed. Second, now that you are skinnier, you can shove yourself -even your whole body- closer to your lady without "carmichael-ing" her and give her a little more wood than your fatter alter ego could deliver. Thirdly, if you are losing weight, chances are you are exercising and eating right -see hardness entry above- increasing the amount of blood that can flow into the cock.

Medications: Ahh... the dreaded medically enforced erectile dysfunction. It's better than being dead, right? Listen guys, now is the time, and might I add it is never too late, to work on your fingerblasting techniques and cunnilingus expertise. Your cock will not always be there to rely on, you must diversify your assets to make yourself a good sexual investment. Your hands though, will always be hard, and your mouth will always be suckibly soft. A nice balance and two of the best substitutes for the beautiful contradic(k)tory soft-to-the-touch and hard-for-the-plunge dick. Then there is the other side of the medication coin. Instead of prescriptions that keep someone healthy but lead to a soft dick, the viagra pill, which I have no experience with yet but I am sure in the future I will know the power and benefits of this little magic pill, give the otherwise wood challenged a stiff knob. What fun! Is it? I've heard of marathon sessions, rubbed raw cocks and crotches, trips to the emergency room, hooker's charging by the hour...Does anyone have any anecdotes related to this experience they want to share?

Curves: When I was in college, my room mate's boyfriend's nickname was "J" for the way his dick turned when erect. This name was given to him by his friends, not his girlfriend. I often wondered, how did they know which way his erect dick meandered? Boys, do tell, do you catch a gander at all your friends wood? My room mate loved it. Especially, she said, when they did it "crosswise" you know, the position where she was laying on her back, and he on his side, so his dick rubbed her g spot perfectly. Or she'd spin perpendicular (no pun intended) on top to get the right angle, her shoulder and the side of her body facing his front. Some guys are lucky to have their dick curve up -making missionary a perfecto position- and some dicks curve down, making, you guessed it, doggie style the preferred position for ultimate vaginal stimulation. Have no fear, if your dick is straight and true, you are best fitted for all positions -anal too- you just have to work out a little extra aiming, moving your whole body to get at a certain zone. Just pick a position, point and go.

If you're looking for me, I'll be camping in the woods...

Monday, August 18, 2008

Bringing Back the Vulva

I started to really think about the vulva because my sister taught her daughter to refer to her genitals as her vulva. I was a little horrified at this at first. I thought, she'll be laughed out of the locker room when she starts referring to her genitals as a vulva when all the other girls will surely call it their vagina (or pussy, twat, cunt, whatever). My sister defended the vulva though, saying that is the visible part of the situation, from the outside you don't even see the vagina, so why refer to the vulva as a vagina? This got me to thinking, yeah, why not the vulva? It's where the clit lives, it's where the lips are loving life, it's the part you most frequently clean for proper vulva health and happiness. It's the appetizer-that could also work as an entree- on the cunnilingus menu. It's the most noted camel toe.

Did you ever notice how people's genitals are mirrored by the features on their face? I think I can tell exactly how someone's genitals look by the way their eyes, nose and mouth are situated, and the size of such features. The face is the reflection of the vulva (and equally, the penis). I think we are unconsciously aware of this when we think a person is attractive to us, we are also checking out their reproductive parts, but it doesn't register consciously.

Another reason to refer to the downtown lady as a vulva is that the word vagina means scabbard. A place to slide your sword. According to Wikipedia, the word vulva was taken from volva or vulva which means "womb, female genitals", probably from the Latin volvere "to roll" or "wrapper". Is this simply the same concept, a "wrapper" for your sword, like a scabbard? Or all the goodies are "rolled" in this vulva?

Possibly vulva, or the jelly roll, is a reference to rock and roll, which I believe is a description of screwing, girl on top style. Rocking is the back and forth, pelvic tilt created with abdominal muscles pulling up and in and tipping down and back. Rolling is the circular action, swirling your hips on top on the cock, 360 degrees, like hula hooping an invisible hoop. Get it? This "rocking and rolling" action was thought to create a "reeling" in the receiver (and I'll tell ya, the giver gets something out of it too!) Such action really stimulates the vulva.

Sheath that sword. Rock and roll will never die. Long live the vulva.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Bust that cherry!

Everybody remembers their first time. Usually vividly. Intercourse ..ooooooh. So grown up. But what were your requirements? Some women set it up or wait for what they think is the perfect moment, prom night in a nice hotel with their first loves or the equivalent. Does that put too much pressure on the moment to deliver beyond what it really is? Yes, I understand the intimacy involved in the act of lovemaking, he sticks something of him inside of you (like Adam says... uhhh, it's only my rib Eve...relax...I won't tell anybody). It's a moment imbued with trust, for sure. For some, it just comes down to that decisive moment when they think they are being left behind by sexually active friends, or for others like me, the day they are drunk enough not to care, the "get it over with" attitude (one 40 ounce Bud was all it took, ahhh, youth).

For most women I have talked to, whatever road they took to get to hymen-free living, the thoughts after the act were...huh? that's it? We are told to expect big things from this moment, BLOOD! Tears of JOY. LIFelong LOVE! Immediate PRegnancy! The Pain of HELL. No one mentions the oozing sperm that will eventually soak your little undies and leave you feeling all day like your twat sneezed. Or the uncomfortable and awkward moments between even the best of friends and longest term boy/girlfriends after that certain edge has been gleaned. That intimate knowledge learned. Someone got something and someone relented and the power struggle begins.

Most women did not orgasm that first time, and even for years after they started having sex - this may be changing with the proliferation of sex toys, and ease of acquiring them over the internet- thank you internet!!!! So what was driving them to fuck if they weren't even getting off? The satisfaction of getting off their guy? Yes, that's a part of it. The feeling of appreciation from that guy? Now were getting warmer. The feeling of being loved and the affection that accompanies the act of lovemaking? Perhaps. Or is it the new found power that the woman now has over her pussy whipped boyfriend? So in giving it up, does she gain an advantage?

Some -like me- kept at it for practice. I knew that first time couldn't be IT, there had to be MORE. I thought, like a muscle, if I used it, it would grow. If I got used to it, something, that thing, would eventually happen.

I found that this attitude scared men. I wasn't in it for the babies, the relationship, the power, the commitment, I wanted to practice and get good at it. I was in it for the pleasure. That is intimidating to a guy who now has a much bigger responsibility -in his mind- to get me off. If it is all about the sexual act, and those moments only, they couldn't make it up to me later with a nice dinner, or any other scenarios that assuaged the other ladies. I suppose in looking back I was a pretty harsh judge, they were only learning as I was, but why did they talk such a huge game if they couldn't deliver?

Peacocking, bravado, a facet of the mating dance. In any case I did give them their chance to prove it. Little did I know that my orgasmic sexual satisfaction was up to me all along (can you hear me clicking my ruby red shoes together, "there's nothing like masturbation, nothing like masturbation"). And now all that masturbation has really paid off in sexual satisfaction with another human. Coming is exponential.

So basically, the boys had years of masturbation under their belts, and the girls were starting from scratch. Hopefully, the future holds more masturbating girls starting younger in life, who will reap those benefits and will enjoy sex more when the time comes to bust that cherry.

One last thought, do the women who plan the perfect de-virginalization night also become bridezillas?

Sunday, July 20, 2008

A Vicious Cycle: Women's horniness killed by asshole behavior.

Guys wonder why they do not get enough sex in a relationship. The reason? Women are cut off at the pass by asshole behavior from their man. Women get cranky and need to be fucked, sometimes they don't even know how bad they need it, or as much or as often as they do. Woman are at their horniest and are maybe acting a little crazy from being pent up, a side effect of our busy lives of thinking about others, but right when we need it most, usually our guys do something that makes us so mad, that we don't want to fuck them at all! What an asshole! And nobody can work up the energy to fuck an asshole (and get off).

Is this an unconscious way that men withhold sex from their women? They complain that women don't want sex as often as men do, but that is just not true, women just can't suck and fuck someone they are mad at. Perhaps the nature of the standard act of intercourse allows men to fuck even if they hold a grudge. Who wouldn't want to pound on someone you were mad at? (and get off in the process, great!) But for women, getting fucked after you feel fucked over emotionally just... is not acceptable, literally.

Here's the advice, if your woman is acting cranky, and you know she needs it, instead of the lecture that your not getting enough downtown action, or grabbing her and humping her while she picks up the dirty laundry you left on the floor last week, or humping her during any other chore that is demanding her time at that moment, or yaking that your needs are not being met, (insert any other whiny, whiny man complaints about their sex life here) or even telling her she "just needs to be fucked" which is like saying "are you gonna go on the rag soon, you're a bitch!?" INSTEAD, think of the ways you can arouse her. Take a shower, maybe you can entice her into taking one with you by saying how you would love to scrub her (all over, not just her titties) with luscious soaps, or shampoo her hair as she relaxes, or whatever it takes to get her into the shower with you, dry her off, dry yourself off, and then do all the things you have been dreaming of. If you can't get her in the shower with you, take one by yourself, meet her with a clean body and start being very nice to her, arouse her, then she will be more than happy to fuck you. Buy some nice smelling lotion and massage her whole body. You may have to do this a few times without expecting sex after. This will lure her into relaxing and eventually, maybe the second or third time you are massaging her, she will fuck your brains out.

Did you notice the "arouse her" message? This is a major missing link for men. Women are focused on and distracted by the things they have to do in life -especially if they have kids, they are always thinking of what they have to do for the kids- and cannot just switch into fuck-me mode unless aroused (or driven into fuck-me mode by time and pent up sex drive energy that has not been released -see above- but by that time she is already very crazy!). Sometimes, you can't just lift her skirt and start chomping, she may need a little more warm up, BUT sometimes that's ALL it takes, a random act of cunnilingus and a nice finger-blasting that does not need to be immediately reciprocated with a blow job does wonders for a girl's heart and mind.

You won't even have to think about arousing her so much if you are not an asshole! She will be more apt and ready to screw you if you are doing things that make you appear to be a good guy in her eyes. Remember, sex is habitual, the more they do it, the more regularly women will want to do it. Think about it. They need it as much as you. They want it as much as you. They also want you to be fuckable. So, be a good guy, and she will screw you more often.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Jane'e Guide review of Smutty Intelligence

I've been given a "quality" rating from Jane's Guide and I didn't even sleep with anybody!

Original & Quality
smutty intelligence
I had a lot of fun reading Karen's blog. It is a wonderful collection of insights into sexuality written by a confident woman over thirty. Here is one of my favorite quotes from her work, "Well, some ladies are a little shy about 'masturbating' themselves in front of a new guy. I might be a little harsh but I think this kind of shy is ridiculous. Ladies, you are letting them stick their penis in you but are too shy to get yourself off in the process? Shy and demure behavior is not for the bedroom, it's for when you meet his parents, or children, or boss." I could not have said it better myself. Karen has a wonderfully brazen tone throughout her writing, and I love it. - Vamp

Monday, July 14, 2008

Hurray for Mirena!

Today I got my IUD inserted. This morning, just a few hours ago, and I feel great. A little cramping upon insertion, but I rode my bike home afterward and feel totally normal and fine.

Now I have 5 years of the best birth control money can buy and a lot less to worry about. They say my periods will regulate over the next year and could stop altogether (hopefully). I always liked getting my period, because the alternative was too horrible to think about. It was a reassuring pain in the ass. At least I knew I was NOT pregnant if I was on the rag. Now I will have to trust my little R2D2 friend, the vaginal squid that battles sperm and all it's potential.
I have a feeling that I won't miss Aunt Flo's visits from Redbank too much.

Many monogamous women I know are choosing this IUD option for birth control. Some non-monogamous women I know have it too and I wonder if it is very very tempting not to use condoms, or is the fear of disease enough to motivate condom use? It will be for me. For now -at this moment, week, month?? I am monogamous, and if I choose to bang a new man, I'm definatly wrapping that sausage.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Horny, horny women and their sexual peak, part two

The "horny horny women and their sexual peak" post was quite popular. Apparently, this phenomena is just another of women's sexual experiences that we as a society consider a dirty little secret. I guess it's what made Mrs. Robinson from "the Graduate" such a controversial figure? Here are some comments I received, would love to hear how anyone would reply to the last fellow who is grappling with his wife's horny nature.

anonymous #1
Thanks for this post. I am realizing now that I've hit my sexual peak, even though my boyfriend tells me that it's at age 40. I just turned 30. I have suddenly had the urge to literally fuck all of my male co-workers. I'm glad I'm not alone in all of this.
I've been fucking my boyfriend 3 times a day and feel this great urge to make a baby. I will be reading your journal more often.

The thing that strikes me about this comment is that her lucky boyfriend is getting it 3 times a day and still has the balls to say she isn't hitting some kind of sexual peak? Perhaps she hasn't peaked, I understand, things could get wilder, better, she'll get more confident, she is just starting this phase, but that she feels something and he denies it makes my hackles go up. Maybe -in addition to the hormonal surge- she wants to fuck her co-workers because they respect her? Okay, perhaps that isn't the case, he may be simply ignorant, like the rest of the world, about this and maybe wants to let her know that it's just going to get BETTER! I would definitely say this falls under the fertile/baby making category. Listen Honey, don't get fooled by your body into motherhood if you don't want it, or are not ready, a child is yours FOREVER. But have fun with your horniness. I think it makes a woman feel beautiful, charismatic, and sexy.

Oh, and by the way, I was reminded of a moment in my life the other day and it occurred to me that it was probably the onset of my "sexual peak" phase. I was 30, yes 30 like the woman above, walking down 14th street in Manhattan, thinking about a guy I knew from Europe; I had just moved back to NYC. I was just thinking of what he would be doing that time of day, drinking tea, or whatever. It was not even a sexually charged fantasy when my nipples got HARD, both of them, and as they rubbed against my shirt I had a full-body-sensation-orgasm walking down the street. It was as if I was not even in control of this body. It took me by surprise (a pleasant surprise) and I have never been able to recreate that moment. (yes, I've tried). So, I think 30 might be some official start, like adolescence may start physically changing girls at 10, but for some not until 12 or 14, or even 16, right? Next comment.

anonymous #2
Just found this site when I was searching the web for "women's sexual peak." I am almost 44 yrs old and ever since I turned 40, I have been horny all the time. I was horny in my late teens-20's, basically almost 0 in my 30s, and now, WOW! And it seems to be getting more intense. I masturbate almost daily since my lover is in another state. I have been trying really hard not to place an ad online looking for a FWB situation. I see men on the street and want to do it right there with them. Thank goodness for some wonderful toys I have been experimenting with. Too bad they don't come with warm bodies.
-she continues-
I'm not so sure that the sexual peak has anything to do with my biological clock. My "child" is 21yrs old and I'm 44. I've always been sexual, having started sex as a young teen. I've always had a good sexual life and always enjoyed it. I've had great partners. But about 2 yrs ago, I noticed, and in fact, I think my partner noticed before I did--that I wanted and NEEDED sex more often. It has since intensified and all I want to do is get off. I want to fuck everybody--men and women, all day and night. I think about it all the time, no matter what I'm doing. I have no intentions of having or feelings for wanting another child at all--instead, I feel liberated that my kid is an adult right now.

I love this post. The woman is also taking it into her own hands (or toys) which I love. For me, just the fantasy of a warm body is enough sometimes, who needs the actual person? Also, I am ignorant of these abbreviations...what is a FWB situation? Let me know...
The mistake is that she thinks the horniness is some kind of desire, conscious or otherwise, to have kids when I simply refer to the ovulation process being amped. I have no desire for children either, but am still horny horny horny. I actually think it is a cruel twist for us ladies who love the freedom of unmotherhood, that we are so horny at a time when it is so easy for us to conceive. As far as her not feeling horny in her 30's, I have heard that having kids, and their related baggage, ie. responsibility (work more to make money to provide), care taking (bathe feed and clothe the little one), affection (they love you and crawl all over you, drooling, crying, laughing, jumping, enough physically activity to satisfy any affection level) care giving (you love them, hold them, bandage wounds, develop their lives, pick out schools, take them to music lessons, etc.) these parental duties really have a way of taking the focus off of oneself and depositing it onto the child. This woman was around 23 when she had a child, so the bulk of rearing the kid happened in her 30's. She may have been pumping out the best fertile eggs during those years, but fatigue of child rearing and focusing on a little one's life could have acted as an antidote to horniness. Once she felt she was done, "liberated" that is, her child is 21 and all grown up, her horniness flourished! hurray!! !! seems normal and natural to me.

anonymous #3
Thanks for the honesty ladies. Has this urge subsided any? Seems my wife is/was going through this. It started when she was around 30 and now she's 36 how much longer will she have this urge? BTW, I understand when you see someone attractive, you might take a double look, but as you ladies say you want to screw just about every guy you see. Also, any tips to fulfill her fantasies while in this sexual peak would be greatly appreciated. FYI, we've always been a sexually charged couple and I don't consider are sex life "dull".

Well, the urge has not subsided for me. And as you can read above, the woman who is 44 is just starting to feel this (well, at 40 years she started to feel it), so I think you are perhaps in for a longer haul than a short horny ride.
Get her good sex toys and give her plenty of privacy to use them. (see earlier posts regarding good vibes) She can take the edge off by masturbating and fantasizing about who she wants to fuck. DAILY. She should do this in addition to screwing you.
Do it whenever and wherever. Be ready if you need condoms for protection, and go at it in different places, at different times. Sometimes just service her orally or manually (see fingerblasting post, or cunnilingus post)
If you don't already, then use vibrators in your sex acts to enhance her pleasure. The "hitachi magic wand" on the clit IS magic during intercourse, and as some women have confided, they don't get off in the same way without it.
Consider a threesome. Maybe screwing one of the guys she wants to, and you at the same time, will also calm the beast. Or maybe like the lady above, her horniness extends to an interest in ladies? I can understand how that may not appeal if you are married and want to keep the sexual relationship private, but a suggestion nonetheless. Perhaps you know a friendly couple looking for a switch-a-roo and then you all win.
Alter your appearance if possible. Grow your hair, cut your hair, grow a beard, shave your beard. Your chameleon like ways will fuel her "I am with the Xerox repairman tonight" fantasy and may make you more dynamic to her as you are not the same old guy, night after night.
Change your sexual pattern. If you are finding that you do it in the same way all the time, like a "by the bases" foreplay scenario- kiss kiss, squeeze a boobie, rub the twat, stick it in- you may want to mix it up.
Maybe this should have been the first suggestion, but have an honest discussion about her orgasmic ways. Is she getting off when she is with you? What could you do to facilitate this? Leggo your ego, if you know what I mean. Even if she's been faking for ten years, better to find out and change your ways then lose someone you love.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

a revealing story....

A friend sent this story to me.....

A professor at University of Minnesota was giving a lecture

on 'Involuntary Muscular Contractions' to his first year medical

Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided
to lighten the mood slightly.

He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, 'Do you
know what your asshole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'

She replied, 'Probably deer hunting with his buddies.'

The professor laughed so hard he could not continue with the class.

Monday, May 26, 2008

push and pull

Is sex just about domination and submission on varying levels? Each person in the act takes one of these roles in either a dynamic or subtle way. Is there any way to separate the act from the feeling of taking and being taken? Is that part of the orgasmic release? The surrender to the "little death" is submitting to the control of the other person and therefore brings on the release of orgasm, or controlling the other person and demanding surrender brings on the release for the initiator? Every time and in every moment during sex the roles switch according to mood and moment, but is this element ever absent?

Because one is penetrating and one is being penetrated automatically sets up a dynamic that indicates power. In all sex acts there is some form of penetration, I cannot think of one act that does not involve a probing or a sucking indicating penetration. Even nipple sucking! The tit is in the mouth, penetrating. I wonder how many times I can think about penetration before I get off myself?

I used to ask people what their favorite sexual position was in order to get a glimpse of their personality. If they liked it missionary, on top, from behind, standing.... I always found that this was a good way to break the ice and learn something about another person without asking typical questions like their astrological sign or the mundane details of their lives. It's also a nice way to see if they fit with how your domination/submission feeling is at the moment. If you are feeling like a cowgirl who wants to pony up and ride that bronco top style, you don't want the man who answers, "doggie style, every time, baby".

Monday, March 10, 2008

Horny, horny women and their sexual peak

It happened to me when I turned 32. Suddenly, after a very happy 10 years of monogamous marriage I wanted to have sex with EVERY man I saw. This was a confusing time because I didn't love my husband any less, or want our relationship to end, so what was up with this new, raging drive to screw everyone I met?

At first I thought that it was some kind of "seven year itch" a few years late and I was lucky in my relationship for the extra years and it would pass. When I would discuss this with women even a few years younger than me they would say nice things like "yeah I get horny too" but never with the gusto that I believed this particular feeling engendered.

I harkened back to a story I heard from a lesbian friend of mine who said that once she turned a certain 30-ish age, she wanted to have sex with men for the first time in her life. She took this as a maternal signal, thinking "if I want to fuck guys, I must want to have a baby". Her biological clock's alarm had sounded, she did wind up screwing a guy and had a lovely child. Good ending to the story. But what about me, one with no maternal desire for a child? I would not be fooled by my body to procreate!

So, I channeled this desire into, oooh my lucky husband, and into a masturbation practice featuring all the men I would like to fondle. I even made a "DoW" list, my "divorced or widowed" list of men I would screw, in a certain order. In case one of these scenarios became a reality, I would be ready.

This feeling has persisted for the last 5 years, even gained a little ground I must admit, so I had to find out. I decided to research this "women's sexual peak" phenomena.

Turns out, it is the age of the body. An onset of perfect baby making chemicals and physical environment, after years of practice, has reached it's peak. These are the years to reproduce. When girls are 12 or 14 or so, not every ovulation cycle releases an egg. It's sporadic, gaining momentum and then leveling out in cycles. Hitting strides for certain blocks of years as you age. At thirty -ish, every cycle produces and releases an egg, they are present, ripe and active thus sending the horny message to your primitive brain to fuck every bull in the herd. Every month the body wants to fulfill it's hormonal message. Hurray for contraceptives! Then, less and less eggs are released as you get older. Until, kaput. Only on the egg making, I hope we keep the libido.

So, I'm wondering when this peak will end? Or does it have to?

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Say it ain't So, or Use it or Lose it?

Recently I was talking to an older friend, a woman in her 70's who said that all the men she had dated, since she was in her 60's were unable to achieve an erection. Perhaps it had to do with medications they were taking, but she and her female friends were still interested in sex, but unable to find a man that could perform.

For men, one of the worst things to face, I'm sure, is a limp dick. It's hard for the ladies, too. Okay, pun was intended. Unfortunately, it's not hard for the ladies....

Is it that they did not maintain a healthy sexual daily practice, masturbating and working that tool? Too often this practice -especially in this older generation- was looked upon as unnecessary if a person was in a relationship. The battle cry upon discovery of porn, or walking in on an actual jack off session was the accusation that the spouse was not enough for the masturbater, that somehow the spouse had failed if their honey had to squeeze it themselves. Perhaps this is true in some fashion, but in reality, everyone needs some private time to exorcise those demons, those fantasies that have nothing to do with one's partner are sometimes best left for private moments.

Is it a lack of exercise that has led to this epidemic? Men's compromised cardiovascular health perhaps has interrupted blood flow to this most important organ. Unfortunately, most American women stop exercising after they graduate high school, for men it's college. If men and women knew what they were sacrificing, do you think they would make more time for exercise? After working for most of their lives, people want to retire and have time for all that they sacrificed during their working years. Be active and spend more time with their spouse, and doing it, I'm sure is part of that plan. Most everyone knows how important it is to save money for retirement, how about saving your body for retirement?

And what about the ladies and the dreaded vaginal atrophy? The Mayo Clinic's recommendation under the heading
Prevention states:

"Regular sexual activity, either with or without a partner, can decrease problems with vaginal atrophy. Sexual activity enhances blood flow to your vagina, which helps keep vaginal tissues healthy."

Hormonal supply is another factor. As we get older, supposedly the decrease in our production of estrogen for women leads to atrophy, and a decline in testosterone leads to a greater incidence of impotence. If women take estrogen to maintain health, how come men don't take testosterone supplements? I know there is some controversy regarding hormone therapy and increased risks of disease, but please, when I am old I think I will still value a nice juicy peach over the chance of disease. Remember, we are all going to die eventually. Is there hormone therapy for men or is Viagra the only option? The one thing we can control, and I think help regulate and activate our bodily systems, is exercise and sexual activity, either alone or with a partner.

Sex is usually one of the first things to be chucked if folks are fatigued, sex and exercise. People always claim to be too tired after a long day to do either, and my premise is that they are connected. If you exercise and have sex, even when tired, you will be more relaxed (sex) and energized (exercise) than of you had just laid back on the couch to watch TV and did neither.

Inertia is a funny thing. "A body in motion tends to remain in motion, a body at rest tends to remain at rest." Which will you wish you chose when you're 64?

Monday, February 11, 2008

One Hand on the Button and the other in the Box

Most women need simultaneous stimulation of the clit and vag to orgasm. Why, oh, why did this creator of ours position these important elements in this way? Luckily, we have learned there are lovely spots in the vaginal sheath that can make our eyes cross (see earlier posts), but they cannot be compared to the powerhouse clit.

There are a few ways to accomplish this dual stimulating feat. First, a sexual position. If you are height compatible with your partner, than this works even better, but essentially it boils down to using your mate's pubic bone to stimulate the clitoris. He's on his back, climb on top, insert tab B into slut A...I mean slot A. If you don't understand, I mean stick it in. Then lay down on top of his chest, rest your legs within his outstretched legs, you can even cross your ankles for extra grabbing action, and slide up and down. Use your feet to push off, and grab your guy. He can help by sliding you a little too, or you can take turns. If he thrusts a little upwards when you are on your way down (and vice versa) his pubic bone will rub nicely against your hot button. There are other positions that work this pubic bone action, trial and error, discovery and exploration and you will figure out which ones you like best.

Second, digital manipulation. Just rub it while you fuck. No brainer, right? Well, some ladies are a little shy about "masturbating" themselves in front of a new guy. I might be a little harsh but I think this kind of shy is ridiculous. Ladies, you are letting them stick their penis in you but are too shy to get yourself off in the process? Shy and demure behavior is not for the bedroom, it's for when you meet his parents, or children, or boss. You will feel better if you get over this and in my experience, men love this, especially when you come as a result. Good guys want you to come! Not be embarrassed. Note of warning: I did this when having sex in a car, drunk. I rubbed that poor clit so hard it swelled up SUPErHuge! The next day I felt like I was kicking a soccer ball as I walked around trying to make sense of what I did to myself...and scared it would never deflate. It did.

Third, sex toys. Combining sex toys and intercourse with another person is a good idea. If you are worried about ruining your man's wood, ah, I mean ego, with the buzzing of your faithful friend, start the session off with a little show. Men like to watch women masturbate, and it is a great way to get riled up, and introduce the merchandise for the first time. When he feels the results he will not worry that you are replacing him with a robot, or that you think he is not enough for you. The truth is, unless he can stimulate your clit successfully while still focusing on fucking you, then yes, he isn't enough for you. This is one fine example of modern gadgets helping people.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

No Doubt, Screw First, Talk Later

I never understand when women, and even sometimes men -gasp- tell me they are "waiting" to have sex with the person they are currently "dating" because they want the relationship to be a long and strong one and don't want to jinx it or ruin it by introducing the sexual element into the relationship too soon.

I have news for you. If you can hold off on fucking each other, it doesn't stand a chance in the long run. In my experience, love starts off with an incredible chemical rush that makes you want to rip that persons clothes off, or just hug them forever, or mash your body near them, but love never makes you back away or create physical distance. That is your stupid judgmental mind working, and has no place in your life if you are hoping that love will find you. If you are scared that the sex won't be good enough to express how you feel, then you are too concerned with performance and not letting go enough to enjoy these beginning moments. Figuring out what your new honey likes, making a fool of yourself, choking, gagging, spitting, farting, tasting, picking pubes out of your teeth, sweating, stinking, weird hairs, morning breath...all these things SHOULD be experienced right out of the gate while the LOVE chemical is flooding your brain. When else are you gonna think that all these things are incredibly beautiful?
Plus, this type of intimacy is what gets you through the stupid..."let's go out with your friends" nights, it's what makes for those great long lingering looks across a crowded room when you are both thinking about what you did in that cab you took to the bar. It creates a connection that differentiates you as a unit from the other individuals around you. Even if you have fucked every person in the room, they are who you have fucked last, they have the most recent updates, the latest version of your software and that is what makes them special.
If you are scared you won't be able to get them off, give them a mind blowing orgasm... all that crap, dream on! First, face it, if the chemistry is not there (meaning you are finding it easy to wait to have sex), you won't be a hot couple and should just drop it. Secondly, you won't be able to technically get them off as fast, as well or as easily as their last partner because they had a bunch of practice and were comfortable, and knew what to do with each other. But guess what, they are out of the picture, so stop comparing yourself to the past lovers or being fearful that she or he had sex better when she or he was having it with the person they were having it with before you. -whew-. You cannot and should not think about the past when you should be focusing on the present moment.

And, years later, as you ebb and flow through the cycles of having sex all the time, and not remembering the last time you had sex, you will have the memories of these encounters to masturbate to, and also to carry you through the fights and sad times. There is a reason you are together and you should discover it, explore it, and exploit it right away, for all that it is worth, because in the end, if the relationship doesn't work out, at least you had some good times to show for your emotional investment.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Better to Burn Out Than to Fade Away?

It was quite a week. What are the chances? It finally happened. I burnt out my Hitachi Magic Wand AND my Rabbit. They both died within minutes of each other, like an old married couple who cannot live without one another. I think the rabbit committed suicide knowing the workload it was about to face if the wand was gone. It just couldn't handle the pressure, I guess. And pressure it was...I want to know if anyone else out there stops the rabbit when orgasming? The happy twirl of the shaft freezes when my vaginal muscles clamp down during the big ones and it cannot move. An unhappy silence accompanies this action, or maybe I just can't hear anything beyond my breathing during this roar of pleasure. I imagine that the motor doesn't appreciate these moments, but I sure do.

It has been a tough few days, first the denial, then anger, grief, and finally acceptance. Now I am anxiously awaiting the replacements arrival in the mail. I discovered I can buy both vibes on What a wonderful world. I am back to fingerblasting the old fashioned way and while it has been a nice trip through time -like visiting Colonial Williamsburg or something - I have to say that I appreciate the modern gadgets for their speed and efficiency. Remember, this is something I suggest you do everyday, and something I like to do everyday, it seems like there isn't enough time in each day to devote to "digital" masturbation when mind blowing results are required. Perhaps the rabbit was feeling neglected , I was paying a lot of attention to the "Impulse" (see previous post for recommendation) but, in my heart I know the rabbit is a slave to love and just gave out as things have a way of doing when used often.

Life with one vibrator (the impulse) just doesn't cut the mustard when you have two places -minimum- to stimulate. I hate the switching back and forth, it is frustrating and a big waste of time. So, back to the old days, the hands I was born with, and whatever else is lying around...
-------------------------REST IN PEACE-------------------------