Monday, May 26, 2008

push and pull

Is sex just about domination and submission on varying levels? Each person in the act takes one of these roles in either a dynamic or subtle way. Is there any way to separate the act from the feeling of taking and being taken? Is that part of the orgasmic release? The surrender to the "little death" is submitting to the control of the other person and therefore brings on the release of orgasm, or controlling the other person and demanding surrender brings on the release for the initiator? Every time and in every moment during sex the roles switch according to mood and moment, but is this element ever absent?

Because one is penetrating and one is being penetrated automatically sets up a dynamic that indicates power. In all sex acts there is some form of penetration, I cannot think of one act that does not involve a probing or a sucking indicating penetration. Even nipple sucking! The tit is in the mouth, penetrating. I wonder how many times I can think about penetration before I get off myself?

I used to ask people what their favorite sexual position was in order to get a glimpse of their personality. If they liked it missionary, on top, from behind, standing.... I always found that this was a good way to break the ice and learn something about another person without asking typical questions like their astrological sign or the mundane details of their lives. It's also a nice way to see if they fit with how your domination/submission feeling is at the moment. If you are feeling like a cowgirl who wants to pony up and ride that bronco top style, you don't want the man who answers, "doggie style, every time, baby".