Monday, July 6, 2009

Duty Call

There is nothing like the excitement of a long distance relationship. You are excited to see each other, talk on the phone, aroused everyday just checking your email, squishing love out of every pore of your body.

Once you see each other! Yowza! Sex sex sex pent up love is finally released! Then you have to leave, sad sniffles, plans for the next time. Satisfied sighs. Hot phone calls, lovely emails. The cycle continues.

One of the main things the long distance relationship does not have is "grin-and-bear-it" sex.

We all like to pretend that we would never compromise ourselves, and I really don't know if this is strictly a female phenomena, but there are those times that your man wants it, and you know, eh, you, not so much.

But with some cajoling, whining, prodding, you say "what the hey" and get down to what will probably not be the best sex of your life. It's a sacrifice? um, no. Responsibility? huh? DUTY, yes, there we go.

Remember the "wifely duty"? Well, much to the radical feminists chagrin, it still exists in modern sexual times.

If you're lucky after the initial bullshitty self-compromising feeling has worn off or been replaced by arousal due to a well trained lover's touch, you can actually really enjoy it and later think, "yeah, that WAS a good idea. I can read that book, finish that painting, watch that movie, clean that house, dye my hair (insert the very important thing you were doing prior to the entreaties of your lover to get physical) another time."

The worst time to pull this "begging for it" move is when SLEEP has been at a minimum, or during the middle of the night. Don't wake me up for duty. I am not on duty when dreaming, I'm dreaming, dammit! Sleeping is just as sacred as sex and perhaps equal (what?! did I just say that) when it comes to health and well being. I mean, you can always sleep afterwards, but still, a cranky lady is less duty-bound than one who experiences all levels of proper, deep, uninterrupted sleep.

I have always felt that you only get so much bouncing on the bone in this life and I should take advantage of that wood if it's right there in front of me. It's a natural resource and shouldn't be wasted. But remember guys, it's a renewable resource, so please don't act like every hard on is a snowflake, a hard cock going-out-of-business sale and if we don't take advantage we'll regret it forever.

The equality issue, or let's just call it what it is, payback, is not very equal. It's not like your man is going to complain if you raise your skirt and ask for some after he comes home exhausted from a hard days work, he's going to be ready and willing (usually). I've never met a man who refused the midnight shake 'em, wake 'em, and take 'em. Yes, women are guilty of this intrusion, too.

So, what and where's the return for being so giving of time and body if gender's sex drives and behavior aren't equal? Just the big three- peace, love, and understanding.