Saturday, February 16, 2008

Say it ain't So, or Use it or Lose it?

Recently I was talking to an older friend, a woman in her 70's who said that all the men she had dated, since she was in her 60's were unable to achieve an erection. Perhaps it had to do with medications they were taking, but she and her female friends were still interested in sex, but unable to find a man that could perform.

For men, one of the worst things to face, I'm sure, is a limp dick. It's hard for the ladies, too. Okay, pun was intended. Unfortunately, it's not hard for the ladies....

Is it that they did not maintain a healthy sexual daily practice, masturbating and working that tool? Too often this practice -especially in this older generation- was looked upon as unnecessary if a person was in a relationship. The battle cry upon discovery of porn, or walking in on an actual jack off session was the accusation that the spouse was not enough for the masturbater, that somehow the spouse had failed if their honey had to squeeze it themselves. Perhaps this is true in some fashion, but in reality, everyone needs some private time to exorcise those demons, those fantasies that have nothing to do with one's partner are sometimes best left for private moments.

Is it a lack of exercise that has led to this epidemic? Men's compromised cardiovascular health perhaps has interrupted blood flow to this most important organ. Unfortunately, most American women stop exercising after they graduate high school, for men it's college. If men and women knew what they were sacrificing, do you think they would make more time for exercise? After working for most of their lives, people want to retire and have time for all that they sacrificed during their working years. Be active and spend more time with their spouse, and doing it, I'm sure is part of that plan. Most everyone knows how important it is to save money for retirement, how about saving your body for retirement?

And what about the ladies and the dreaded vaginal atrophy? The Mayo Clinic's recommendation under the heading
Prevention states:

"Regular sexual activity, either with or without a partner, can decrease problems with vaginal atrophy. Sexual activity enhances blood flow to your vagina, which helps keep vaginal tissues healthy."

Hormonal supply is another factor. As we get older, supposedly the decrease in our production of estrogen for women leads to atrophy, and a decline in testosterone leads to a greater incidence of impotence. If women take estrogen to maintain health, how come men don't take testosterone supplements? I know there is some controversy regarding hormone therapy and increased risks of disease, but please, when I am old I think I will still value a nice juicy peach over the chance of disease. Remember, we are all going to die eventually. Is there hormone therapy for men or is Viagra the only option? The one thing we can control, and I think help regulate and activate our bodily systems, is exercise and sexual activity, either alone or with a partner.

Sex is usually one of the first things to be chucked if folks are fatigued, sex and exercise. People always claim to be too tired after a long day to do either, and my premise is that they are connected. If you exercise and have sex, even when tired, you will be more relaxed (sex) and energized (exercise) than of you had just laid back on the couch to watch TV and did neither.

Inertia is a funny thing. "A body in motion tends to remain in motion, a body at rest tends to remain at rest." Which will you wish you chose when you're 64?

Monday, February 11, 2008

One Hand on the Button and the other in the Box

Most women need simultaneous stimulation of the clit and vag to orgasm. Why, oh, why did this creator of ours position these important elements in this way? Luckily, we have learned there are lovely spots in the vaginal sheath that can make our eyes cross (see earlier posts), but they cannot be compared to the powerhouse clit.

There are a few ways to accomplish this dual stimulating feat. First, a sexual position. If you are height compatible with your partner, than this works even better, but essentially it boils down to using your mate's pubic bone to stimulate the clitoris. He's on his back, climb on top, insert tab B into slut A...I mean slot A. If you don't understand, I mean stick it in. Then lay down on top of his chest, rest your legs within his outstretched legs, you can even cross your ankles for extra grabbing action, and slide up and down. Use your feet to push off, and grab your guy. He can help by sliding you a little too, or you can take turns. If he thrusts a little upwards when you are on your way down (and vice versa) his pubic bone will rub nicely against your hot button. There are other positions that work this pubic bone action, trial and error, discovery and exploration and you will figure out which ones you like best.

Second, digital manipulation. Just rub it while you fuck. No brainer, right? Well, some ladies are a little shy about "masturbating" themselves in front of a new guy. I might be a little harsh but I think this kind of shy is ridiculous. Ladies, you are letting them stick their penis in you but are too shy to get yourself off in the process? Shy and demure behavior is not for the bedroom, it's for when you meet his parents, or children, or boss. You will feel better if you get over this and in my experience, men love this, especially when you come as a result. Good guys want you to come! Not be embarrassed. Note of warning: I did this when having sex in a car, drunk. I rubbed that poor clit so hard it swelled up SUPErHuge! The next day I felt like I was kicking a soccer ball as I walked around trying to make sense of what I did to myself...and scared it would never deflate. It did.

Third, sex toys. Combining sex toys and intercourse with another person is a good idea. If you are worried about ruining your man's wood, ah, I mean ego, with the buzzing of your faithful friend, start the session off with a little show. Men like to watch women masturbate, and it is a great way to get riled up, and introduce the merchandise for the first time. When he feels the results he will not worry that you are replacing him with a robot, or that you think he is not enough for you. The truth is, unless he can stimulate your clit successfully while still focusing on fucking you, then yes, he isn't enough for you. This is one fine example of modern gadgets helping people.