It happened to me when I turned 32. Suddenly, after a very happy 10 years of monogamous marriage I wanted to have sex with EVERY man I saw. This was a confusing time because I didn't love my husband any less, or want our relationship to end, so what was up with this new, raging drive to screw everyone I met?
At first I thought that it was some kind of "seven year itch" a few years late and I was lucky in my relationship for the extra years and it would pass. When I would discuss this with women even a few years younger than me they would say nice things like "yeah I get horny too" but never with the gusto that I believed this particular feeling engendered.
I harkened back to a story I heard from a lesbian friend of mine who said that once she turned a certain 30-ish age, she wanted to have sex with men for the first time in her life. She took this as a maternal signal, thinking "if I want to fuck guys, I must want to have a baby". Her biological clock's alarm had sounded, she did wind up screwing a guy and had a lovely child. Good ending to the story. But what about me, one with no maternal desire for a child? I would not be fooled by my body to procreate!
So, I channeled this desire into, oooh my lucky husband, and into a masturbation practice featuring all the men I would like to fondle. I even made a "DoW" list, my "divorced or widowed" list of men I would screw, in a certain order. In case one of these scenarios became a reality, I would be ready.
This feeling has persisted for the last 5 years, even gained a little ground I must admit, so I had to find out. I decided to research this "women's sexual peak" phenomena.
Turns out, it is the age of the body. An onset of perfect baby making chemicals and physical environment, after years of practice, has reached it's peak. These are the years to reproduce. When girls are 12 or 14 or so, not every ovulation cycle releases an egg. It's sporadic, gaining momentum and then leveling out in cycles. Hitting strides for certain blocks of years as you age. At thirty -ish, every cycle produces and releases an egg, they are present, ripe and active thus sending the horny message to your primitive brain to fuck every bull in the herd. Every month the body wants to fulfill it's hormonal message. Hurray for contraceptives! Then, less and less eggs are released as you get older. Until, kaput. Only on the egg making, I hope we keep the libido.
So, I'm wondering when this peak will end? Or does it have to?
Monday, March 10, 2008
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Say it ain't So, or Use it or Lose it?
Recently I was talking to an older friend, a woman in her 70's who said that all the men she had dated, since she was in her 60's were unable to achieve an erection. Perhaps it had to do with medications they were taking, but she and her female friends were still interested in sex, but unable to find a man that could perform.
For men, one of the worst things to face, I'm sure, is a limp dick. It's hard for the ladies, too. Okay, pun was intended. Unfortunately, it's not hard for the ladies....
Is it that they did not maintain a healthy sexual daily practice, masturbating and working that tool? Too often this practice -especially in this older generation- was looked upon as unnecessary if a person was in a relationship. The battle cry upon discovery of porn, or walking in on an actual jack off session was the accusation that the spouse was not enough for the masturbater, that somehow the spouse had failed if their honey had to squeeze it themselves. Perhaps this is true in some fashion, but in reality, everyone needs some private time to exorcise those demons, those fantasies that have nothing to do with one's partner are sometimes best left for private moments.
Is it a lack of exercise that has led to this epidemic? Men's compromised cardiovascular health perhaps has interrupted blood flow to this most important organ. Unfortunately, most American women stop exercising after they graduate high school, for men it's college. If men and women knew what they were sacrificing, do you think they would make more time for exercise? After working for most of their lives, people want to retire and have time for all that they sacrificed during their working years. Be active and spend more time with their spouse, and doing it, I'm sure is part of that plan. Most everyone knows how important it is to save money for retirement, how about saving your body for retirement?
And what about the ladies and the dreaded vaginal atrophy? The Mayo Clinic's recommendation under the heading Prevention states:
Sex is usually one of the first things to be chucked if folks are fatigued, sex and exercise. People always claim to be too tired after a long day to do either, and my premise is that they are connected. If you exercise and have sex, even when tired, you will be more relaxed (sex) and energized (exercise) than of you had just laid back on the couch to watch TV and did neither.
Inertia is a funny thing. "A body in motion tends to remain in motion, a body at rest tends to remain at rest." Which will you wish you chose when you're 64?
For men, one of the worst things to face, I'm sure, is a limp dick. It's hard for the ladies, too. Okay, pun was intended. Unfortunately, it's not hard for the ladies....
Is it that they did not maintain a healthy sexual daily practice, masturbating and working that tool? Too often this practice -especially in this older generation- was looked upon as unnecessary if a person was in a relationship. The battle cry upon discovery of porn, or walking in on an actual jack off session was the accusation that the spouse was not enough for the masturbater, that somehow the spouse had failed if their honey had to squeeze it themselves. Perhaps this is true in some fashion, but in reality, everyone needs some private time to exorcise those demons, those fantasies that have nothing to do with one's partner are sometimes best left for private moments.
Is it a lack of exercise that has led to this epidemic? Men's compromised cardiovascular health perhaps has interrupted blood flow to this most important organ. Unfortunately, most American women stop exercising after they graduate high school, for men it's college. If men and women knew what they were sacrificing, do you think they would make more time for exercise? After working for most of their lives, people want to retire and have time for all that they sacrificed during their working years. Be active and spend more time with their spouse, and doing it, I'm sure is part of that plan. Most everyone knows how important it is to save money for retirement, how about saving your body for retirement?
And what about the ladies and the dreaded vaginal atrophy? The Mayo Clinic's recommendation under the heading Prevention states:
"Regular sexual activity, either with or without a partner, can decrease problems with vaginal atrophy. Sexual activity enhances blood flow to your vagina, which helps keep vaginal tissues healthy."
Hormonal supply is another factor. As we get older, supposedly the decrease in our production of estrogen for women leads to atrophy, and a decline in testosterone leads to a greater incidence of impotence. If women take estrogen to maintain health, how come men don't take testosterone supplements? I know there is some controversy regarding hormone therapy and increased risks of disease, but please, when I am old I think I will still value a nice juicy peach over the chance of disease. Remember, we are all going to die eventually. Is there hormone therapy for men or is Viagra the only option? The one thing we can control, and I think help regulate and activate our bodily systems, is exercise and sexual activity, either alone or with a partner.Sex is usually one of the first things to be chucked if folks are fatigued, sex and exercise. People always claim to be too tired after a long day to do either, and my premise is that they are connected. If you exercise and have sex, even when tired, you will be more relaxed (sex) and energized (exercise) than of you had just laid back on the couch to watch TV and did neither.
Inertia is a funny thing. "A body in motion tends to remain in motion, a body at rest tends to remain at rest." Which will you wish you chose when you're 64?
Monday, February 11, 2008
One Hand on the Button and the other in the Box
Most women need simultaneous stimulation of the clit and vag to orgasm. Why, oh, why did this creator of ours position these important elements in this way? Luckily, we have learned there are lovely spots in the vaginal sheath that can make our eyes cross (see earlier posts), but they cannot be compared to the powerhouse clit.
There are a few ways to accomplish this dual stimulating feat. First, a sexual position. If you are height compatible with your partner, than this works even better, but essentially it boils down to using your mate's pubic bone to stimulate the clitoris. He's on his back, climb on top, insert tab B into slut A...I mean slot A. If you don't understand, I mean stick it in. Then lay down on top of his chest, rest your legs within his outstretched legs, you can even cross your ankles for extra grabbing action, and slide up and down. Use your feet to push off, and grab your guy. He can help by sliding you a little too, or you can take turns. If he thrusts a little upwards when you are on your way down (and vice versa) his pubic bone will rub nicely against your hot button. There are other positions that work this pubic bone action, trial and error, discovery and exploration and you will figure out which ones you like best.
Second, digital manipulation. Just rub it while you fuck. No brainer, right? Well, some ladies are a little shy about "masturbating" themselves in front of a new guy. I might be a little harsh but I think this kind of shy is ridiculous. Ladies, you are letting them stick their penis in you but are too shy to get yourself off in the process? Shy and demure behavior is not for the bedroom, it's for when you meet his parents, or children, or boss. You will feel better if you get over this and in my experience, men love this, especially when you come as a result. Good guys want you to come! Not be embarrassed. Note of warning: I did this when having sex in a car, drunk. I rubbed that poor clit so hard it swelled up SUPErHuge! The next day I felt like I was kicking a soccer ball as I walked around trying to make sense of what I did to myself...and scared it would never deflate. It did.
Third, sex toys. Combining sex toys and intercourse with another person is a good idea. If you are worried about ruining your man's wood, ah, I mean ego, with the buzzing of your faithful friend, start the session off with a little show. Men like to watch women masturbate, and it is a great way to get riled up, and introduce the merchandise for the first time. When he feels the results he will not worry that you are replacing him with a robot, or that you think he is not enough for you. The truth is, unless he can stimulate your clit successfully while still focusing on fucking you, then yes, he isn't enough for you. This is one fine example of modern gadgets helping people.
There are a few ways to accomplish this dual stimulating feat. First, a sexual position. If you are height compatible with your partner, than this works even better, but essentially it boils down to using your mate's pubic bone to stimulate the clitoris. He's on his back, climb on top, insert tab B into slut A...I mean slot A. If you don't understand, I mean stick it in. Then lay down on top of his chest, rest your legs within his outstretched legs, you can even cross your ankles for extra grabbing action, and slide up and down. Use your feet to push off, and grab your guy. He can help by sliding you a little too, or you can take turns. If he thrusts a little upwards when you are on your way down (and vice versa) his pubic bone will rub nicely against your hot button. There are other positions that work this pubic bone action, trial and error, discovery and exploration and you will figure out which ones you like best.
Second, digital manipulation. Just rub it while you fuck. No brainer, right? Well, some ladies are a little shy about "masturbating" themselves in front of a new guy. I might be a little harsh but I think this kind of shy is ridiculous. Ladies, you are letting them stick their penis in you but are too shy to get yourself off in the process? Shy and demure behavior is not for the bedroom, it's for when you meet his parents, or children, or boss. You will feel better if you get over this and in my experience, men love this, especially when you come as a result. Good guys want you to come! Not be embarrassed. Note of warning: I did this when having sex in a car, drunk. I rubbed that poor clit so hard it swelled up SUPErHuge! The next day I felt like I was kicking a soccer ball as I walked around trying to make sense of what I did to myself...and scared it would never deflate. It did.
Third, sex toys. Combining sex toys and intercourse with another person is a good idea. If you are worried about ruining your man's wood, ah, I mean ego, with the buzzing of your faithful friend, start the session off with a little show. Men like to watch women masturbate, and it is a great way to get riled up, and introduce the merchandise for the first time. When he feels the results he will not worry that you are replacing him with a robot, or that you think he is not enough for you. The truth is, unless he can stimulate your clit successfully while still focusing on fucking you, then yes, he isn't enough for you. This is one fine example of modern gadgets helping people.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
No Doubt, Screw First, Talk Later
I never understand when women, and even sometimes men -gasp- tell me they are "waiting" to have sex with the person they are currently "dating" because they want the relationship to be a long and strong one and don't want to jinx it or ruin it by introducing the sexual element into the relationship too soon.
I have news for you. If you can hold off on fucking each other, it doesn't stand a chance in the long run. In my experience, love starts off with an incredible chemical rush that makes you want to rip that persons clothes off, or just hug them forever, or mash your body near them, but love never makes you back away or create physical distance. That is your stupid judgmental mind working, and has no place in your life if you are hoping that love will find you. If you are scared that the sex won't be good enough to express how you feel, then you are too concerned with performance and not letting go enough to enjoy these beginning moments. Figuring out what your new honey likes, making a fool of yourself, choking, gagging, spitting, farting, tasting, picking pubes out of your teeth, sweating, stinking, weird hairs, morning breath...all these things SHOULD be experienced right out of the gate while the LOVE chemical is flooding your brain. When else are you gonna think that all these things are incredibly beautiful?
Plus, this type of intimacy is what gets you through the stupid..."let's go out with your friends" nights, it's what makes for those great long lingering looks across a crowded room when you are both thinking about what you did in that cab you took to the bar. It creates a connection that differentiates you as a unit from the other individuals around you. Even if you have fucked every person in the room, they are who you have fucked last, they have the most recent updates, the latest version of your software and that is what makes them special.
If you are scared you won't be able to get them off, give them a mind blowing orgasm... all that crap, dream on! First, face it, if the chemistry is not there (meaning you are finding it easy to wait to have sex), you won't be a hot couple and should just drop it. Secondly, you won't be able to technically get them off as fast, as well or as easily as their last partner because they had a bunch of practice and were comfortable, and knew what to do with each other. But guess what, they are out of the picture, so stop comparing yourself to the past lovers or being fearful that she or he had sex better when she or he was having it with the person they were having it with before you. -whew-. You cannot and should not think about the past when you should be focusing on the present moment.
And, years later, as you ebb and flow through the cycles of having sex all the time, and not remembering the last time you had sex, you will have the memories of these encounters to masturbate to, and also to carry you through the fights and sad times. There is a reason you are together and you should discover it, explore it, and exploit it right away, for all that it is worth, because in the end, if the relationship doesn't work out, at least you had some good times to show for your emotional investment.
I have news for you. If you can hold off on fucking each other, it doesn't stand a chance in the long run. In my experience, love starts off with an incredible chemical rush that makes you want to rip that persons clothes off, or just hug them forever, or mash your body near them, but love never makes you back away or create physical distance. That is your stupid judgmental mind working, and has no place in your life if you are hoping that love will find you. If you are scared that the sex won't be good enough to express how you feel, then you are too concerned with performance and not letting go enough to enjoy these beginning moments. Figuring out what your new honey likes, making a fool of yourself, choking, gagging, spitting, farting, tasting, picking pubes out of your teeth, sweating, stinking, weird hairs, morning breath...all these things SHOULD be experienced right out of the gate while the LOVE chemical is flooding your brain. When else are you gonna think that all these things are incredibly beautiful?
Plus, this type of intimacy is what gets you through the stupid..."let's go out with your friends" nights, it's what makes for those great long lingering looks across a crowded room when you are both thinking about what you did in that cab you took to the bar. It creates a connection that differentiates you as a unit from the other individuals around you. Even if you have fucked every person in the room, they are who you have fucked last, they have the most recent updates, the latest version of your software and that is what makes them special.
If you are scared you won't be able to get them off, give them a mind blowing orgasm... all that crap, dream on! First, face it, if the chemistry is not there (meaning you are finding it easy to wait to have sex), you won't be a hot couple and should just drop it. Secondly, you won't be able to technically get them off as fast, as well or as easily as their last partner because they had a bunch of practice and were comfortable, and knew what to do with each other. But guess what, they are out of the picture, so stop comparing yourself to the past lovers or being fearful that she or he had sex better when she or he was having it with the person they were having it with before you. -whew-. You cannot and should not think about the past when you should be focusing on the present moment.
And, years later, as you ebb and flow through the cycles of having sex all the time, and not remembering the last time you had sex, you will have the memories of these encounters to masturbate to, and also to carry you through the fights and sad times. There is a reason you are together and you should discover it, explore it, and exploit it right away, for all that it is worth, because in the end, if the relationship doesn't work out, at least you had some good times to show for your emotional investment.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Better to Burn Out Than to Fade Away?
It was quite a week. What are the chances? It finally happened. I burnt out my Hitachi Magic Wand AND my Rabbit. They both died within minutes of each other, like an old married couple who cannot live without one another. I think the rabbit committed suicide knowing the workload it was about to face if the wand was gone. It just couldn't handle the pressure, I guess. And pressure it was...I want to know if anyone else out there stops the rabbit when orgasming? The happy twirl of the shaft freezes when my vaginal muscles clamp down during the big ones and it cannot move. An unhappy silence accompanies this action, or maybe I just can't hear anything beyond my breathing during this roar of pleasure. I imagine that the motor doesn't appreciate these moments, but I sure do.
It has been a tough few days, first the denial, then anger, grief, and finally acceptance. Now I am anxiously awaiting the replacements arrival in the mail. I discovered I can buy both vibes on Amazon.com. What a wonderful world. I am back to fingerblasting the old fashioned way and while it has been a nice trip through time -like visiting Colonial Williamsburg or something - I have to say that I appreciate the modern gadgets for their speed and efficiency. Remember, this is something I suggest you do everyday, and something I like to do everyday, it seems like there isn't enough time in each day to devote to "digital" masturbation when mind blowing results are required. Perhaps the rabbit was feeling neglected , I was paying a lot of attention to the "Impulse" (see previous post for recommendation) but, in my heart I know the rabbit is a slave to love and just gave out as things have a way of doing when used often.
Life with one vibrator (the impulse) just doesn't cut the mustard when you have two places -minimum- to stimulate. I hate the switching back and forth, it is frustrating and a big waste of time. So, back to the old days, the hands I was born with, and whatever else is lying around...
It has been a tough few days, first the denial, then anger, grief, and finally acceptance. Now I am anxiously awaiting the replacements arrival in the mail. I discovered I can buy both vibes on Amazon.com. What a wonderful world. I am back to fingerblasting the old fashioned way and while it has been a nice trip through time -like visiting Colonial Williamsburg or something - I have to say that I appreciate the modern gadgets for their speed and efficiency. Remember, this is something I suggest you do everyday, and something I like to do everyday, it seems like there isn't enough time in each day to devote to "digital" masturbation when mind blowing results are required. Perhaps the rabbit was feeling neglected , I was paying a lot of attention to the "Impulse" (see previous post for recommendation) but, in my heart I know the rabbit is a slave to love and just gave out as things have a way of doing when used often.
Life with one vibrator (the impulse) just doesn't cut the mustard when you have two places -minimum- to stimulate. I hate the switching back and forth, it is frustrating and a big waste of time. So, back to the old days, the hands I was born with, and whatever else is lying around...
-------------------------REST IN PEAC
E-------------------------
E-------------------------
Friday, December 28, 2007
All I Want for Christmas...and every day
If you didn't get what you want this year, get it for yourself! The gift that keeps on giving, everyday, no complaints, just feed it a few batteries! Treat yourself to some mind blowing fun with this vibe. I like it because it varies it's vibration pattern with a quick button on the bottom. It is powerful and a great size. I like the "penis" shaped one but there are smooth varieties for those penis-avoider types. Which brings me to my latest subject. To me, and I've tried them all, the vibes that mimic a penis touch the right parts in the slick vaginal sleeve in a certain way that smooth cylindrical dildos just don't. Is the design of nature best? The cock head and if you notice on this vibe, "ribbed" area that mimics the foreskin really give my sheath something to grab onto. What do you think? Does it make a difference?
Monday, December 3, 2007
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