Better to Burn Out Than to Fade Away?

It was quite a week. What are the chances? It finally happened. I burnt out my Hitachi Magic Wand AND my Rabbit. They both died within minutes of each other, like an old married couple who cannot live without one another. I think the rabbit committed suicide knowing the workload it was about to face if the wand was gone. It just couldn't handle the pressure, I guess. And pressure it was...I want to know if anyone else out there stops the rabbit when orgasming? The happy twirl of the shaft freezes when my vaginal muscles clamp down during the big ones and it cannot move. An unhappy silence accompanies this action, or maybe I just can't hear anything beyond my breathing during this roar of pleasure. I imagine that the motor doesn't appreciate these moments, but I sure do.

It has been a tough few days, first the denial, then anger, grief, and finally acceptance. Now I am anxiously awaiting the replacements arrival in the mail. I discovered I can buy both vibes on Amazon.com. What a wonderful world. I am back to fingerblasting the old fashioned way and while it has been a nice trip through time -like visiting Colonial Williamsburg or something - I have to say that I appreciate the modern gadgets for their speed and efficiency. Remember, this is something I suggest you do everyday, and something I like to do everyday, it seems like there isn't enough time in each day to devote to "digital" masturbation when mind blowing results are required. Perhaps the rabbit was feeling neglected , I was paying a lot of attention to the "Impulse" (see previous post for recommendation) but, in my heart I know the rabbit is a slave to love and just gave out as things have a way of doing when used often.

Life with one vibrator (the impulse) just doesn't cut the mustard when you have two places -minimum- to stimulate. I hate the switching back and forth, it is frustrating and a big waste of time. So, back to the old days, the hands I was born with, and whatever else is lying around...

-------------------------REST IN PEACE-------------------------

All I Want for Christmas...and every day

If you didn't get what you want this year, get it for yourself! The gift that keeps on giving, everyday, no complaints, just feed it a few batteries! Treat yourself to some mind blowing fun with this vibe. I like it because it varies it's vibration pattern with a quick button on the bottom. It is powerful and a great size. I like the "penis" shaped one but there are smooth varieties for those penis-avoider types. Which brings me to my latest subject. To me, and I've tried them all, the vibes that mimic a penis touch the right parts in the slick vaginal sleeve in a certain way that smooth cylindrical dildos just don't. Is the design of nature best? The cock head and if you notice on this vibe, "ribbed" area that mimics the foreskin really give my sheath something to grab onto. What do you think? Does it make a difference?

Cunnilingus Part TWO

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Yes! it's cunnilingus time! Part ONE

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My Pediatrician Made Me Orgasmic

It's true folks, my childhood doctor, when I was about 5 years old started me on a life long practice of Kegel Excersizes. I experienced a variety of bladder problems as a child. My bladder was not strong and was too small. I peed too many times and too little each time. I wet the bed. I would sleep walk and piss into potted plants. I was tested for diabetes. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful due to the results of this prescribed practice but I often wondered looking back, who decides how much urination was too little, too often?

The good doctor told me to stop mid-urine stream and then start again. The idea was to strengthen the muscles and develop bladder control. Thank you Dr. Rosmaita! This has made my vag some kind of superhero. I'm not shooting ping pong balls out of her or opening bottles of beer, but it's a hearty handshake for any lucky cock and I think has had a profound effect on my orgasmability.

Perhaps a contributing factor was developing consciousness of this vaginal sensation at an early age, and then continuing to practice periodically throughout the years. It's not like I was some staunch piss interrupter, I like the relief of a good solid stream just like anybody. If you are interested in a place to start, and are out of touch with the ability to contract and tighten these specific "pelvic floor" muscles, start the way the good Doc had me start, and you will begin to feel and isolate this muscle. Then you can carry it out of the bathroom, thus beginning a life long secret workout that can be performed anywhere!

Men can benefit, too. It may help to combat premature ejaculation. (thank god) It may increase the hardness of their dick. (hurray!) Supposedly, control of this muscle allows men to experience the sensation of ejaculation -the shot is shunted into the bladder and reabsorbed- and stay hard for more loving. (right on) Also, if you've ever had a guy perform an internal cockdance (anybody remember Judy Blume's book "Wifey"?) they are using this muscle just as you do when you squeeze the shit out of their sausage.

I think it is an amazing self arousal technique. I have actually experienced orgasm this way combining Kegels with an intense, fresh fantasy. At church, only kidding! And, it's nice to do during foreplay to help focus the energy.

Every time, and I mean every time, I start talking about Kegels, all the girls start doing them. It's like smiling at someone or yawning, it's contagious. The first lady will admit to it then everybody will laugh and say they were doing them, too! Did you start when you began to realize the subject of this post? I was doing them the whole time, too.

I welcome and invite your comments. If you have any questions or would like me to address a certain subject, feel free to email or comment. Don't worry, I won't expose your freaky nature, you may remain anonymous.
Please read the sidebar regarding private consultation and contact me for an appointment.

The Healing Power of a Juicy Twat

I recently spent some time with a cousin, John, a spiritual tattoo artist and piercer. His shop is called Dramatic Paws and is located in Cobleskill, NY. We got to talking and you know how it is with me, talk usually takes a turn to the nether regions and the activity located downtown. John was talking about genital piercings. That afternoon, I helped him hold a girl's nipples as he pierced them. A first for me.

John made an interesting observation over the considerable time that he has been performing this service. Men who get genitally pierced and are in monogamous sexual relationships with women heal faster, even those that begin to have sex before the recommended elapsed time for health. He really didn't know the reason but his theory was that the couples have bio-rhythmically synced immune activity from living in close proximity and somehow one helps the other heal. He came to this conclusion because this phenomena was not observed in recently pierced men who screwed the same number of times, with different women, therefore, he believed, dipping the stick in just anybody will not have the same benefits.

I think he has a point, but I was thinking about this long and hard and I believe there are more factors than propinquity at work in this observed situation.

Factor One: The vag has a bunch of healing properties in it's juices. Basically, it's made up of immunoglobins and fructose. That's right, every time those musicians wrote songs about your pussy and called it a sugar bowl, or a honeypot, or a sweet and juicy peach, (Sheena Easton even had a song about her sugarwalls, no?) they were right on. Secreted from the cervix and the vaginal walls are all these proteins and enzymes that help reduce inflammation, grow new cells, and speed the transport of sperm. There is viscous mucus that locks away bad sperm and even -scientists are studying this now-trap and isolate viruses. wow.

Factor Two: If a couple is in a long term relationship, at some point, the woman will be on the Pill and her man will stop wearing condoms. Does fooling the body into thinking it is pregnant change or even boost the chemistry of her cervical and vaginal fluid, her CVF? CVF is an actual term! Women collect their own CVF for scientific labs using some kind of straw and pipette! a pipette! so feminine.

Factor Three: A pregnant women's CVF is jam packed with "grow cell" goodness as some amniotic fluid is said to leak from the cervix and enter the vagina in addition to the fluids normally produced. Excuse me while I gag a little. I would expect it to heal a piercing faster if it can feed and grow a full human. Plus, nobody's wearing condoms if you're already knocked up! I mean, in a committed life long loving relationship.

Factor Four: I don't know about everybody, but if you are recently pierced and having sex with multiple partners you would usually wear a condom (i hope) thus putting a barrier between your hurting cock and those healing juices -even if the strange lady is on the Pill- also eliminating factor two's "fooled pregnancy" benefits (maybe she's still on it hoping for that next long term buddy, or to manage her monthly bloodbath, or in case that master lock through this dude's cock head tears open the free lifestyles she's been carrying around, at least she has a backup method, smart girl).

Factor Five: Saliva can help heal a wound. The journal of the American Dental Association says "Secretory leukocyte inhibitor, or SLPI can be found in fluids that bathe the mucosal surfaces such as saliva, bronchial fluids, and cervical fluids. It also has anti-inflammatory, anti-viral, anti-fungal, and anti-bacterial properties. In recent years, National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research investigators have demonstrated that SLPI found in saliva blocks HIV-1 infection." Steady girlfriends usually suck dick, too.

Factor Six: The single straight men I know usually develop cleaner hygiene habits when living with or having regular sex with a woman. They might be taking better care of their freshly stabbed genitals. They shower and wash because she won't suck fetid balls. She's got self esteem, people! And, as it turns out, super powerful cunt-a-lishousness.

Don't try to heal your lovers herpes, and please don't shove a kitchen-knife-cut finger into your love canal and expect spontaneous ET like results. You're not a superhero, but you are amazing.

I invite your comments and I am available for private consultation.

Finger Blasting Technique

When orgasm is the goal, there are many different ways for different women, there are different ways for the same woman depending on the mood and the action and the players but one thing is for sure, finger blasting is one of the best, fast ways to orgasm.

I'm not gonna bother with the "keep your finger nails groomed" rap. You all know about it, it's just a good health practice, but honestly if the woman is hot, riled up and ready, it won't matter if you have the scratchy fingers of a hot carpenter, especially if you are already inside us. But you won't get there unless you use finesse.

By finesse, I mean technique and placement. In my experience men use their fingertips to try to arouse and then they drive their fingers in, like they are digging for something in the sand. Some think that by tracing the hole it will arouse us, and you are right, but, hey, guys, this is the most sensitive part of our twat rubbed with the roughest, snaggyest part of your finger... instead, use your finger PADS (where your fingerprints are). It is a smooth and soft rubbing surface for the sensitive stage of the game. That's one sure fire way to a moist hole.

If you are both clothed, rubbing on the outside of clothes in all directions feels great. But once the clothes come off, or your hand is stuffed down the pants or up the skirt, this is a whole new ball game.

You can't just stir that shit like a stew, personally I don't like my junk dragged backwards. Probably due to my outgoing, generous clit, I feel like a cat being combed the wrong way if the guy slides his hand upwards and fumbles for purchase. Back to the standard refrain... all girls are different. If they have a small, hidden clit this might not be a big deal and they may like it. A good way to bring your hand up and back to the "starting position" of clit stimulation is to drag it along the side, trace the place where her leg meets her thigh, a safe positioning or slide along her outer lip near all the good stuff, but not on top of it. Don't waste time, and get back to the action. Again, use the pads of your fingers.

Clit stimulation is the first step. Starting on the outside of the clothes or underwear is a good way to get to the general area without really knowing what you are doing. Plus, you can get a lay of the land, start to feel where everything is, without jeopardizing the outcome. Small circles with varying degrees of pressure should do the trick. Once you have determined that your girl is ready (begging for it) slide, drive, but don't dig, with two fingers, into that snatch. The ring and middle fingers are a standard that can be worked from. If it is too much (or too soon) pull out SLOWLY and get back to the clit. Then slide one in later. (The Middle, for length, dexterity and size. They don't use it to say "fuck you " for no reason).

But let's say that she is ready, and it is going perfectly. Once in, use the palm of your hand to massage the general clit area while your fingers move in a few different ways.

1st way: palm is massaging clit, fingers are circling, sliding along all sides of the wall, or half circles, on the front side, back and forth, sliding.

2nd way: palm is massaging clit, fingers are massaging g-spot. To practice, think about making the "devils horns" shape with your hands, you know the metal head double-handed-gesture with-the-head-bob? Use your middle and ring fingers to trace a small circle on your palm. Try this now just for fun. Kinda need some practice, right? It's a little difficult but, for the g-spot, you can do it.

3rd way: ready for the change up, slide fingers in and out (slow or fast depending on this girl) You don't always have to totally withdraw either, just bounce up and down or pull all the way out and trace that hole again. It's nice to have an ebb and flow, give the orgasm a chance to build. (Or as a break between orgasms) Now it may be time to introduce another finger. The index is standard, but the pinkie can work too and depending on your angle, (are you in the back seat of a car, a phone booth, an uncomfortable position) might be the best choice for leverage in this situation. Stack your fingers, index and ring under middle for a better fit and placement. Now your ring and index are taking on the g-spot.

4th way: Now that you are working 3 fingers and the clit with your palm you can go for "the vibrate". Simply shake your hand from side to side rapidly, gripping the whole package and releasing. This is hard to sustain and usually unnecessary to do for long periods of time. Good to do just before she comes, it may help in bringing her there, or as a transition between the fore mentioned techniques.

5th way: Plow. Stuff those fingers in deep and use your thumb to stimulate the clit.

6th way: the masterful control this takes is hard to develop but trial and error keeps it interesting. We are at 3 fingers in, so using the slide in and out technique, (3rd way) rotate the hand so that the pinkie can start to slid up to her asshole and your thumb is stimulating the clit. DANGER: you cannot use the thumb as a leverage point if it is manning the clit, it has to maintain independence from what the rest of the hand is doing. Once in position, your hand is basically sideways, and you can now "wave" and "pat" "Waving" moves the hand clit to ass (good for a girl who likes her clit tapped, and you can start to work on pinkie penetration for the asshole. (if you have a fingernail on this pinkie, or an anal virgin, do not even attempt to penetrate. Just being in the general vicinity will probably be enough, a good idea is to curl your pinkie and use the knuckle for applying pressure, without penetration) "Patting" will move the hand side to side, nice for the clit (let the thumb find one spot, on the side of the clit and stay there with mild pressure) and good for beginning asshole afficionados, as you are just rubbing, (finger pad or knuckle, remember) not penetrating.

Infection warning: once touching the asshole, even if your fingers are simply near that area, you are now "radioactive". You cannot go back to fingering her. She does not want a "mixed bacterial vaginosis infection" that women can get from bacteria that has traveled from her ass to her vag. It's distracting and it's hard to come when thinking about infections. So use it as an ending technique and if you haven't gotten her off, even a little yet, it's time for cunnilingus. Use your OTHER hand if you are going to blast while you eat.

Have you fingerblasted in all 5 boroughs?