Friday, December 28, 2007

All I Want for Christmas...and every day

If you didn't get what you want this year, get it for yourself! The gift that keeps on giving, everyday, no complaints, just feed it a few batteries! Treat yourself to some mind blowing fun with this vibe. I like it because it varies it's vibration pattern with a quick button on the bottom. It is powerful and a great size. I like the "penis" shaped one but there are smooth varieties for those penis-avoider types. Which brings me to my latest subject. To me, and I've tried them all, the vibes that mimic a penis touch the right parts in the slick vaginal sleeve in a certain way that smooth cylindrical dildos just don't. Is the design of nature best? The cock head and if you notice on this vibe, "ribbed" area that mimics the foreskin really give my sheath something to grab onto. What do you think? Does it make a difference?

Monday, December 3, 2007

Cunnilingus Part TWO

To be a great cunnilinguist, you need sound techniques, basic knowledge of anatomy, an empathetic nature, and some insight into the woman you are about to devour.

Every pussy is different so you can't expect to know what will be the ultimate technique the very first time you go down on her, or else you are lucky and she likes exactly what your last woman enjoyed! Remember there is an ebb and flow to this, first, start with a light touch because a strong beginning might spook her into thinking you are gonna go at it rough and there is no greater obstacle to orgasm than anxiety.

Tongues can be utilized in a few ways. To begin, give a good lapping with a flat, relaxed tongue just slightly sticking out of your lips, to get the lay of the land. See which points cause a stir in the loins of your lass and make a mental note. Remember, squirming is not necessarily a good reaction, she could be squirming AWAy from what you are doing rather than showing pleasure. Squirming INTo what you are doing is a good sign. Use your top lip to anchor to a spot, and your bottom lip for additional stimulation as you lick her.

Make your way to the top, (12 if her vulva were a clock face) where her hood covers her clit and lick her hood softly, then change to a harder probing tongue and slide her hood all over her clit. This is a great way to stimulate the clit without overdoing it. Yes, we have all heard it, the clit is sensitive, so beat around that bush so to speak. Think that you are an archaeologist, dusting for an historical artifact (her clit) with your tongue. You don't touch the object itself until you have almost revealed it completely. Once you feel it getting harder and responding, give it a little break and jam your hard extended tongue into her hole...oh yes. Don't stay too long, get back to the clit before she loses the forward progress you have made. Careful, I have read that some women really like their urethra licked, I am not one of them, it gives me the jumps, but you might try this and see the results, does she buck like a bronco? That's not always a sign that you are doing a good thing, you might have just touched a spot that is NOT enjoyable and while the response you got was big and dramatic, don't keep doing it, it may just piss her off, and that will frustrate her, and you don't want that.

Now you can start to tongue her under the hood, but avoid tonguing the actual tip of her clit. This tip should be sucked and kissed but hardly ever pushed, prodded, bitten or directly licked for too long. This is why ladies usually squirm away from you, if you are overstimulating. Wrap your lips around this little gem and start sucking gently. Now use your tongue on the clit in the context of this pursed lips sucking position. You can practice right now by putting the fingerprint of one of your fingers in between your sucking lips, (see how you have to avoid the teeth! please avoid the teeth!) and the tongue makes little licks at the clit that is being sucked towards it. You can do this rhythmically, and then slide your tongue around the circumference of your sucking lips for variety and again, don't stay there too long, switch up to a new place and a new technique.

I used to think there was nothing great about a tongue in the hole, there aren't many nerve endings in the vagina as you get further away from the entrance, and eh, with so many nerve endings in the clit, why bother with the hole? But, I have to say that I have been proven wrong. This is why Gene Simmons long tongue was so valued! Actually, you have to do something with that tongue, not just lay it in there like a slug, that tongue needs a destination, and the destination is...you guessed it, the G-spot. Drive that tongue in and up and move it back and forth a little. This is hard to do for any length of time, and unnecessary to do for so long anyway, but a few seconds does make a difference. Start exercising your tongue by pushing it out as long as you can and then reaching up, try to touch the tip your nose (not the base of your nose near your upper lip, strive for the tip). Rub her clit while your in there, can't forget about that. Or, finger that hole while your lick her clit. Another good hole related technique is licking the entrance while you rub her clit. You don't always have to go all the way inside every time.

If a woman is holding your head in a certain position, with her hands or her thighs, stay and keep doing exactly what you were doing when she started grabbing you. She is trying to stop you from moving all around and focus on a spot that seems to be working for her, the minute she releases you, have a move ready to transition to in a different locale or in the same area but a different spot. (For example, if you were licking the side of her clit and she clamped you there, then released you, suck the whole area, like a big kiss, or slide over to the other side of the clit and lick or suck there, then eventually go back to the spot that she enjoyed because she might be ready to feel you there again.

One thing to note about a woman's path to orgasm is that it can be easily lost, one false move and you have to start all over again. So if there are distractions, the phone, a siren, loud noises, unlocked doors, bad technique, they might inhibit your girl, and you have to rededicate yourself to the task at hand.
Another re-set moment is after orgasm, you are proud and want to give her another so you dive in with the same gusto that did the job seconds ago, BIG MISTAKE. She is so sensitive now, probably could go for round two if you ease into it. Start at the beginning again and work up to that level of gusto. The good thing is the more you do it, the better you get and the more she gets off the easier it will be to get her off.

Yes! it's cunnilingus time! Part ONE

A word on the ultimate enjoyment, when performed well, and the ultimate annoyance, when performed horribly. To gain my respect, a man must have a good attitude about eating pussy. I can tell immediately who will be good at this act simply by their level of enthusiasm and if they dive into the discussion, or hem and haw.

Can pussy eating be taught or is it something that you have to love in order to do well? I think if the act was demystified, it might build confidence and increase the likelihood of a trip downtown for hesitant men. I suppose I should address pussy eating by both genders as I level this advice, there may be ladies out there who are afraid to eat snatch, or not really confident about their skills,too. Remember, practice, practice, practice. Just because you have the same anatomical features doesn't mean what gets you off will get her off. And beware, enthusiasm is good but does not guarentee results, and may at times, inhibit a successful performance.

For the receiver:
Women, you are ultimately responsible for your own orgasm. Your mind and your emotions are more important than anything this dude could be doing to your clit. If you do not have a healthy attitude about your crotch, how can you accept any act as complex, subtle and stimulating as cunnilingus, and expect it to lead to orgasm? Do your part and deal with this issue first.

For the giver:
Women love to be reassured about the beauty and ediblilty of their snatch. You love to hear how huge you are? She loves to hear how good she tastes. Imagine if you complimented the quality of the buffet as often as you would like to hear that your cock is so scary she is afraid it will rip her in two?

For the receiver:
You cannot expect results if you give no clues, hints, ideas, or feedback to this poor fellow or earnest gal trying their best. Remember these conversations take time. This pursuit of oral mastery is a life long practice, you get a chance to practice how to communicate what works best for you. One method, talk about what you like before you even begin. At the bar, over dinner, after the movie, walking home, riding in the car, begin the dialogue. This is arousing. I have not met a man -and maybe I've just been lucky - that doesn't like to talk about cunnilingus, even if they are not masters of the act, if they are into learning about what you have to say about it, they are worth fucking.

Another way is, right after the act, as you are marveling about what a wonderful time you had, mention a moment when they did a really good thing, like "i love when you stayed on the side of my clit, I think it was my right side, just licking a little and sometimes pushing your tongue into the base of my clit for a good amount of time, and then, when you switched over to the left side, my more sensitive side, it just made me come so hard, that was amazing".

For the giver:
That doesn't mean you only do what it is she just mentioned, over and over, and over and over, until it "works" again. Just file this information in your database, and use it periodically. Don't abuse a successful technique. It is abundantly clear to the lady that you floundering and grasping, desperate for ideas, when you repeat the same scenario. Boredom is not the desired effect of muffdiving.

For the receiver:
Learn to lay back and take it like a man. Get comfortable. Have plenty of time. Relax and fantasize. You are not required to be thinking about what is actually happening in the moment. (example: okay that feels good, but what the fuck is he doing now? that hurts, i wish he'd stop, okay that's better, yeah nice, oh shit why'd he stop, didn't he hear me moan. what the fuck is that? okay better..) Or about how you should be sucking his cock because he's going down on you. Instead, replay your latest masturbation fantasy and enjoy the physical stimulation that you are receiving. Unless, getting head from this hottie IS your latest fantasy in which case you are probably going to come soon anyway.

For the giver:
Please limit the amount of drool you are slopping on our twat. First, it may interfere with stimulation, too slippery and we won't be able to feel what is going on. You do not want your lady distracted thinking of your saliva as it is running down her leg. This is not a turn on most of the time. The drenched skin has a tendency to become cold, and then we're uncomfortable, and hyper aware of the spit instead of your hot mouth.

For the men, and bearded ladies:
If your shaved beard is very coarse and your 5'0clock shadow is kicking in, and you smash your whole face into our twats, relishing the goodness, we will hate you, it will hurt us like sandpaper on your nutsack. Would you really enjoy that? Just keep your face away until you can shave, by all means, and any means, lick, suck, you can even sometimes brush a little of that stubble against us, but be conscious of this. Full beards on the other hand are wonderful, and the softest face feels fine.

Part TWO is on the way, with real pussy eating techniques for you to try on your honey pot!

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

My Pediatrician Made Me Orgasmic

It's true folks, my childhood doctor, when I was about 5 years old started me on a life long practice of Kegel Excersizes. I experienced a variety of bladder problems as a child. My bladder was not strong and was too small. I peed too many times and too little each time. I wet the bed. I would sleep walk and piss into potted plants. I was tested for diabetes. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful due to the results of this prescribed practice but I often wondered looking back, who decides how much urination was too little, too often?

The good doctor told me to stop mid-urine stream and then start again. The idea was to strengthen the muscles and develop bladder control. Thank you Dr. Rosmaita! This has made my vag some kind of superhero. I'm not shooting ping pong balls out of her or opening bottles of beer, but it's a hearty handshake for any lucky cock and I think has had a profound effect on my orgasmability.

Perhaps a contributing factor was developing consciousness of this vaginal sensation at an early age, and then continuing to practice periodically throughout the years. It's not like I was some staunch piss interrupter, I like the relief of a good solid stream just like anybody. If you are interested in a place to start, and are out of touch with the ability to contract and tighten these specific "pelvic floor" muscles, start the way the good Doc had me start, and you will begin to feel and isolate this muscle. Then you can carry it out of the bathroom, thus beginning a life long secret workout that can be performed anywhere!

Men can benefit, too. It may help to combat premature ejaculation. (thank god) It may increase the hardness of their dick. (hurray!) Supposedly, control of this muscle allows men to experience the sensation of ejaculation -the shot is shunted into the bladder and reabsorbed- and stay hard for more loving. (right on) Also, if you've ever had a guy perform an internal cockdance (anybody remember Judy Blume's book "Wifey"?) they are using this muscle just as you do when you squeeze the shit out of their sausage.

I think it is an amazing self arousal technique. I have actually experienced orgasm this way combining Kegels with an intense, fresh fantasy. At church, only kidding! And, it's nice to do during foreplay to help focus the energy.

Every time, and I mean every time, I start talking about Kegels, all the girls start doing them. It's like smiling at someone or yawning, it's contagious. The first lady will admit to it then everybody will laugh and say they were doing them, too! Did you start when you began to realize the subject of this post? I was doing them the whole time, too.

I welcome and invite your comments. If you have any questions or would like me to address a certain subject, feel free to email or comment. Don't worry, I won't expose your freaky nature, you may remain anonymous.
Please read the sidebar regarding private consultation and contact me for an appointment.

Monday, November 26, 2007

The Healing Power of a Juicy Twat

I recently spent some time with a cousin, John, a spiritual tattoo artist and piercer. His shop is called Dramatic Paws and is located in Cobleskill, NY. We got to talking and you know how it is with me, talk usually takes a turn to the nether regions and the activity located downtown. John was talking about genital piercings. That afternoon, I helped him hold a girl's nipples as he pierced them. A first for me.

John made an interesting observation over the considerable time that he has been performing this service. Men who get genitally pierced and are in monogamous sexual relationships with women heal faster, even those that begin to have sex before the recommended elapsed time for health. He really didn't know the reason but his theory was that the couples have bio-rhythmically synced immune activity from living in close proximity and somehow one helps the other heal. He came to this conclusion because this phenomena was not observed in recently pierced men who screwed the same number of times, with different women, therefore, he believed, dipping the stick in just anybody will not have the same benefits.

I think he has a point, but I was thinking about this long and hard and I believe there are more factors than propinquity at work in this observed situation.

Factor One: The vag has a bunch of healing properties in it's juices. Basically, it's made up of immunoglobins and fructose. That's right, every time those musicians wrote songs about your pussy and called it a sugar bowl, or a honeypot, or a sweet and juicy peach, (Sheena Easton even had a song about her sugarwalls, no?) they were right on. Secreted from the cervix and the vaginal walls are all these proteins and enzymes that help reduce inflammation, grow new cells, and speed the transport of sperm. There is viscous mucus that locks away bad sperm and even -scientists are studying this now-trap and isolate viruses. wow.

Factor Two: If a couple is in a long term relationship, at some point, the woman will be on the Pill and her man will stop wearing condoms. Does fooling the body into thinking it is pregnant change or even boost the chemistry of her cervical and vaginal fluid, her CVF? CVF is an actual term! Women collect their own CVF for scientific labs using some kind of straw and pipette! a pipette! so feminine.

Factor Three: A pregnant women's CVF is jam packed with "grow cell" goodness as some amniotic fluid is said to leak from the cervix and enter the vagina in addition to the fluids normally produced. Excuse me while I gag a little. I would expect it to heal a piercing faster if it can feed and grow a full human. Plus, nobody's wearing condoms if you're already knocked up! I mean, in a committed life long loving relationship.

Factor Four: I don't know about everybody, but if you are recently pierced and having sex with multiple partners you would usually wear a condom (i hope) thus putting a barrier between your hurting cock and those healing juices -even if the strange lady is on the Pill- also eliminating factor two's "fooled pregnancy" benefits (maybe she's still on it hoping for that next long term buddy, or to manage her monthly bloodbath, or in case that master lock through this dude's cock head tears open the free lifestyles she's been carrying around, at least she has a backup method, smart girl).

Factor Five: Saliva can help heal a wound. The journal of the American Dental Association says "Secretory leukocyte inhibitor, or SLPI can be found in fluids that bathe the mucosal surfaces such as saliva, bronchial fluids, and cervical fluids. It also has anti-inflammatory, anti-viral, anti-fungal, and anti-bacterial properties. In recent years, National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research investigators have demonstrated that SLPI found in saliva blocks HIV-1 infection." Steady girlfriends usually suck dick, too.


Factor Six: The single straight men I know usually develop cleaner hygiene habits when living with or having regular sex with a woman. They might be taking better care of their freshly stabbed genitals. They shower and wash because she won't suck fetid balls. She's got self esteem, people! And, as it turns out, super powerful cunt-a-lishousness.

Don't try to heal your lovers herpes, and please don't shove a kitchen-knife-cut finger into your love canal and expect spontaneous ET like results. You're not a superhero, but you are amazing.

I invite your comments and I am available for private consultation.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Finger Blasting Technique

When orgasm is the goal, there are many different ways for different women, there are different ways for the same woman depending on the mood and the action and the players but one thing is for sure, finger blasting is one of the best, fast ways to orgasm.

I'm not gonna bother with the "keep your finger nails groomed" rap. You all know about it, it's just a good health practice, but honestly if the woman is hot, riled up and ready, it won't matter if you have the scratchy fingers of a hot carpenter, especially if you are already inside us. But you won't get there unless you use finesse.

By finesse, I mean technique and placement. In my experience men use their fingertips to try to arouse and then they drive their fingers in, like they are digging for something in the sand. Some think that by tracing the hole it will arouse us, and you are right, but, hey, guys, this is the most sensitive part of our twat rubbed with the roughest, snaggyest part of your finger... instead, use your finger PADS (where your fingerprints are). It is a smooth and soft rubbing surface for the sensitive stage of the game. That's one sure fire way to a moist hole.

If you are both clothed, rubbing on the outside of clothes in all directions feels great. But once the clothes come off, or your hand is stuffed down the pants or up the skirt, this is a whole new ball game.

You can't just stir that shit like a stew, personally I don't like my junk dragged backwards. Probably due to my outgoing, generous clit, I feel like a cat being combed the wrong way if the guy slides his hand upwards and fumbles for purchase. Back to the standard refrain... all girls are different. If they have a small, hidden clit this might not be a big deal and they may like it. A good way to bring your hand up and back to the "starting position" of clit stimulation is to drag it along the side, trace the place where her leg meets her thigh, a safe positioning or slide along her outer lip near all the good stuff, but not on top of it. Don't waste time, and get back to the action. Again, use the pads of your fingers.

Clit stimulation is the first step. Starting on the outside of the clothes or underwear is a good way to get to the general area without really knowing what you are doing. Plus, you can get a lay of the land, start to feel where everything is, without jeopardizing the outcome. Small circles with varying degrees of pressure should do the trick. Once you have determined that your girl is ready (begging for it) slide, drive, but don't dig, with two fingers, into that snatch. The ring and middle fingers are a standard that can be worked from. If it is too much (or too soon) pull out SLOWLY and get back to the clit. Then slide one in later. (The Middle, for length, dexterity and size. They don't use it to say "fuck you " for no reason).

But let's say that she is ready, and it is going perfectly. Once in, use the palm of your hand to massage the general clit area while your fingers move in a few different ways.

1st way: palm is massaging clit, fingers are circling, sliding along all sides of the wall, or half circles, on the front side, back and forth, sliding.

2nd way: palm is massaging clit, fingers are massaging g-spot. To practice, think about making the "devils horns" shape with your hands, you know the metal head double-handed-gesture with-the-head-bob? Use your middle and ring fingers to trace a small circle on your palm. Try this now just for fun. Kinda need some practice, right? It's a little difficult but, for the g-spot, you can do it.

3rd way: ready for the change up, slide fingers in and out (slow or fast depending on this girl) You don't always have to totally withdraw either, just bounce up and down or pull all the way out and trace that hole again. It's nice to have an ebb and flow, give the orgasm a chance to build. (Or as a break between orgasms) Now it may be time to introduce another finger. The index is standard, but the pinkie can work too and depending on your angle, (are you in the back seat of a car, a phone booth, an uncomfortable position) might be the best choice for leverage in this situation. Stack your fingers, index and ring under middle for a better fit and placement. Now your ring and index are taking on the g-spot.

4th way: Now that you are working 3 fingers and the clit with your palm you can go for "the vibrate". Simply shake your hand from side to side rapidly, gripping the whole package and releasing. This is hard to sustain and usually unnecessary to do for long periods of time. Good to do just before she comes, it may help in bringing her there, or as a transition between the fore mentioned techniques.

5th way: Plow. Stuff those fingers in deep and use your thumb to stimulate the clit.

6th way: the masterful control this takes is hard to develop but trial and error keeps it interesting. We are at 3 fingers in, so using the slide in and out technique, (3rd way) rotate the hand so that the pinkie can start to slid up to her asshole and your thumb is stimulating the clit. DANGER: you cannot use the thumb as a leverage point if it is manning the clit, it has to maintain independence from what the rest of the hand is doing. Once in position, your hand is basically sideways, and you can now "wave" and "pat" "Waving" moves the hand clit to ass (good for a girl who likes her clit tapped, and you can start to work on pinkie penetration for the asshole. (if you have a fingernail on this pinkie, or an anal virgin, do not even attempt to penetrate. Just being in the general vicinity will probably be enough, a good idea is to curl your pinkie and use the knuckle for applying pressure, without penetration) "Patting" will move the hand side to side, nice for the clit (let the thumb find one spot, on the side of the clit and stay there with mild pressure) and good for beginning asshole afficionados, as you are just rubbing, (finger pad or knuckle, remember) not penetrating.

Infection warning: once touching the asshole, even if your fingers are simply near that area, you are now "radioactive". You cannot go back to fingering her. She does not want a "mixed bacterial vaginosis infection" that women can get from bacteria that has traveled from her ass to her vag. It's distracting and it's hard to come when thinking about infections. So use it as an ending technique and if you haven't gotten her off, even a little yet, it's time for cunnilingus. Use your OTHER hand if you are going to blast while you eat.

Have you fingerblasted in all 5 boroughs?

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

The Shine

After orgasm there is a sense that time has stopped and the whole body is relaxed and floating in space. I like to think of this time as "the shine". It has also been called the afterglow. Usually your lover is so beautiful at this point that it is hard to resist touching them. Please, respect the shine! Let the glow fade slowly and naturally and don't interrupt the reverie with new stimulation. When your love has paralyzed your lover and brought them to a state of pure meditation, don't ask them questions...don't ask for details...don't even bring them water yet...don't talk! Just let.

The shine is such a beautiful place. Ideas float by, thoughts and memories glide through the conscious mind that have been previously long lost. It is such a relaxing place. An opportunity to ride the peaks and valleys of the mind or unravel the mysteries of relationships, of the universe, is precious and must be respected.

Eventually, the shine wears off. Like the effects of any massive physical release, it has to pass. Oh well, do not mourn, because if you have an educated lover you have taken full advantage of this feeling. If you have yet to experience this, then there is a place for optimistic hopeful expectation. Because of this moment, you will recognize and respect the shine and reap the benefits.

Now, once passed, it is the time to reassess, gaze into your lover's eyes and begin again. Drink that glass of water, jump in the shower and start all over again.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Female Ejaculation

I have been thinking a lot about female ejaculation lately. I've actually been thinking about it for a long time. Way, way back when I was 21 I wrote this song called "(I never need a john when I'm) Feeling On and part of the lyrics read, "i can't ejaculate but honey I can cream" (it goes on)..."i don't make no excuse / it ain't like what it seems / cause i never need a john when i'm 'Feeling On'". Then I started thinking, "... I do ejaculate, but I can't write that because everyone will know my dirty little secret". So, I had to ask myself, what was that thing that was going on ...if girls were not supposed to do that?

Recently, I began researching this phenomena. I started because I was freaked out by the amount I was producing, a little used to be okay but what was this bursting? I think that for myself...I really wanted to know if it was piss. I was a little put off by thinking that I was pissing everywhere. Is it better that I know now that it isn't piss? That it is a big puddle of "something else"? (same stuff found in a prostate, plus other fluids) YES, but Not Really because it wasn't like I was going to stop doing it, stop feeling it, even if it was piss. Never the less, it's a hot and messy scene regardless of the ingredients . And anyway, I just had to know.

I conducted amateur research starting in Portland OR, 1995. It all began with an angled, weird, square vibe. A shoulder massager that came with with hard flat plastic nubbin snap on/off surface (several to choose from!). It was square, did I mention this? I think it merits reminding. It was supposed to be used for shoulders and neck. You'd hang it on your shoulder and apply pressure by pulling down. I bought it from a door-to-door salesman one day at work. I was working at the time in a sex toy shop, I could have had any vibe in town, but this one had power. Plus, I discovered, what pulls down must pull up and I inadvertently discovered the phenomena of female ejaculation. When I used that thing in the only way I could, because the angle was so acute, it pin pointed my gush button.

Female Prostate, G-Spot, Skene Glands, Clitoris.

Had I found the female prostate from the outside or was it just hugging the base of the clit that produced this reaction? Stimulating it with a press and lift most always led to some sort of gushing. This I discovered was a precursor orgasm to a mind blowing clit, vag, and anal orgasm. All my parts would contract. For some time...then continue for a few minutes, like surprises shudders. The residual spasms reminded me of when a horse itches, how it looks as it shakes its skin. Startling almost. I started counting them, then I stopped counting.

So, the ejaculation was not the end of the show. As it is for men, there was perhaps a refractory period that "reset" the clock of vaginal orgasm, but I didn't have to stop, it was like an event on this masturbation time line. Sometimes the gush was enough of an orgasm for that session and that would be that. Just for health. It was then that I started to believe that this ejaculation reduced pre-menstrual symptoms such as bloating.

It seemed if I didn't "express" myself, the orgasms were a lot more focused specifically in one zone, clit or vag. They were still good, but not the motherlode. Also, I found during sex, if the cock (or the dildo/vibe) didn't get shot out or squeezed out by the force of these experiences, I could feel bloated and pained, like something physical is being kept in. And if you hold it in, it's not like it's still there waiting for the moment of freedom, like the levee breaks and the river runs it's banks, the event happens and either you let it out in that moment, or it goes away, sometimes painfully. So, I would either shift positions, or keep going for a while to see what will happen, and eventually the pain would go away and the feeling would change as it does during any sexual session. Did it just seep out around the cock or is the pain is related to not having the freedom of a good flush? Was it re-absorbed, re-directed?

They say the female prostate is a bundle of nervy like strands (I picture them like marbling in meat) that surround the urethra and run towards the base of the clit and can be stimulated by pressure in the vagina if you push up to the front side of that luscious tube. Where the G-spot is said to reside. Thus, the confusion for the experts. In my experience I think the female prostate area is best stimulated by a vibrator pulling and held, pushing and held, against the base of the clit from the front side. That first vibe, the weird one, was the best at getting the perfect angle and pull position. Happily, I burned out the motor on that vibe and threw it out. That is why I love the Hitachi Magic Wand. It makes up in power and speed for what it lacks in straight edges, angles and torque. The angled one had the added benefit of being adjusted to pop onto clit duty when a change or reset was needed. The magic wand is like that too, mobile, versatile, but less specific.

Or was that vibrator angle just stimulating the Skene glands? The Skene glands, I think could possibly play their own part too, but the proof is sketchy. Is it the same as the prostate, what do Skene glands do?

Wikipedia entry on the skene glands: the Skene's glands (also known as the lesser vestibular, periurethral glands, or paraurethral glands[1]) are glands located on the upper wall of the vagina, around the lower end of the urethra. They drain into the urethra and near the urethral opening. These glands are surrounded by tissue, which includes the part of the clitoris that reaches up inside the vagina and swells with blood during sexual arousal. There is some evidence that nerves in the area produce an orgasm different to one produced by clitoral stimulation.[citation needed]

Citation needed is RIGHT! I feel like they are related somehow to the expulsion because they direct fluid into the urethra and then it is passed out. But my experience sometimes feels a little different, like the skene glands themselves release the fluid, sometimes through the urethra, sometimes it feels like it is being carried out of the glands themselves, a feeling that it comes more from the vagina than urethra.

I think the G-spot is another bundle of nerves that contributes to the mindblower trifecta orgasm experience, maybe even connecting the two parts, the vaginal canal and clit. Maybe it's like the sensitive spot at the underside of a guys head, it contributes as a bundle of nerves does to sensation, but is not wholly responsible for a particular type of orgasm. Maybe it is the underside of the Skene glands or another side of the prostate and when stimulated from the inside gives a different sensation. Anybody out there have any ideas, opinions?

My impression is that these glands are like nerves that secrete fluid and send electronic messages to each other. If you have a vibe on your clit, dipping into the prostate, a vibe in your sheath, pressing up to your g-spot, love in your heart and smutty thoughts, you should come like a fountain.

If you don't, so what? Try again and don't sweat it.

Future subjects: Kegel Anecdotes

Sunday, October 7, 2007

titty fuck

There should be more titty fucking to orgasm. Oftentimes, in this world, titty fucking is just a naughty stop along the way and not very respected as the whole beautiful experience that it is. I think this is because- with the exception of july and august in NYC , titties are not that lubed and slippery. Ladies, your mouth is right there, I suggest licking the knob a couple of times and painting a line of saliva between your tits as lube to get started, then as the titties are being fucked, lick the tip of the cock and let it carry saliva down to your now slippery slide-y cleavage that cock loves so well!

What I enjoy about the titty fuck is that I get to squeeze my tits together and they look so big, and even when they don't go all the way around (a nice big cock) that they still look voluptuous and feel supported. Also, that a cock is sliding toward my mouth rhythmically and I get to lick it as it comes close, like a game, a dream, it's a fun time. Sometimes I like to catch it with my chin and squeeze the head. I like the way the cock feels hard on my chest bones.

And unpredictable! Nobody knows where that come is going to land. It's like the lottery. What's it going to be...pearl necklace, facial, buried in the folds of those tits, belly....anything can happen at the end of this event. For most sex acts jism has it's destination laid out for it, so to speak. It's nice, the added anticipation.

It reminds me of being young when guys tried to shove their dicks anywhere you would let them. Plus, you can't get pregnant.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Fuel for Orgasm: Fantasy

Okay, I've heard it, and must do something about it. Lots of women telling me they can't orgasm or masturbate. They feel "stupid" or "lose it" once they start touching themselves. But I can't sit back and let it go on, world peace is basically at stake here, or at least the happiness of men and women! There are reasons for this all-too-common reaction, but the solution is easy, and it just takes practice and imagination.

First, get over yourself and get into yourself.
Clear your schedule, turn off your phone, get a babysitter. Stop thinking about what you are "about to be" doing. Have some wine, relax with a nice toke, whatever it takes to get your mind wandering. Get naked, walk around your room or apartment, stand in front of your mirror and just touch yourself -all over- don't focus on the famous spots or go for the gusto too soon. Let your body relax and breathe. Let your thoughts play out through all the minutia in your life. Don't get stuck there, the operative words are "play out" just think and if you have to, write important things down for later so you don't have the pressure to remember those great ideas you just had. Now you are relaxed and ready for the next stage.

Fantasy time.
To build your library of fantasies, you must start with just one, the first of an ever revolving entertainment database for orgasm. Don't judge anything that comes into your mind. Fantasies are FREAKY and they are allowed to be. No one ever has to know about your real masturbation fantasies unless you tell them. Even then, if your special sweetie wants to know and you don't want to tell, lie and fabricate a "normal" fantasy. Go ahead, tell me I shouldn't promote lies and secrets in relationships, but most people I know would rather have a lying, orgasmic girlfriend than an honest pre-orgasmic frustrated girlfriend.

Vibrators.
Not all women can get off without vibrators. A good thing is that if you practice enough and get off regularly with your vibrators, eventually you may not need them sometimes. You will have developed good habits and sensitivity for orgasm and knowledge of what your body needs at the right time to experience this pleasure, sans tools. A vibrator will never "deaden" your sensitivity or leave you unable to enjoy sex with another person. I believe that vibrators enhance the sexual experience with another person, takes the pressure off your significant other to get you where you want to go, and increases the likelihood of orgasm for you, what could be better?

I suggest a four piece package. For the clit, the amazing "magic wand" from Hitachi. It's about $50 online but totally worth it. I haven't even put it to the second level, I'm STILL on the low setting. Sex therapist Betty Dodson suggests using a dry cotton washcloth or some layer of cloth (I used to use it on the outside of my underwear when I first got it) for first timers because it is quite a great tool. It is powerful, it plugs into the wall.

For vaginal penetration, two different vibes are suggested, first a plain hard plastic type of vibrator that is not shaped like a dick or anything, just smooth and fat, like 2 1/2 - 3 inches is a good, big, hard, smooth vibrator. The second, the "Rabbit". Yes, it is intimidating, it is scary, getting that little buzzing nugget where you want her and at the same time easing that twirling vibe into the vageen take some practice. You shouldn't start with these two straight out for your first time, but they are essentials for your progression. You will want them pretty fast if you are not a stone virgin.

The last vibe you need is for anal penetration and that can be a slim hard plastic or a curved number, maybe get both and see if the curve is for you. Sometimes the curve simply makes it easier to insert it when you are laying down with all the other tools you have hanging out and drilling in and pressing against.

Action.
Okay, you've got a hot storyline cooking in your head and your tools are out and ready for action. I start with clit stimulation first when still fantasizing. Get the hard plastic guy going on your clit, then lay down and move to the magic wand on the clit, (it's harder to move around with the wand as it is plugged into the wall, I have an extension chord to make it more mobile, but by now you should be ready to be fucked anyway) then insert the rabbit -if it is feeling like a rabbit day, or jam on that hard fattie -if it is that kind of day, or go right for the anus (with a generous helping of lube) if that is what you crave, whatever goes with the hot storyline you are imagining. I like to be almost ready, on the verge of vaginal or clitoral orgasm before I go for the anal insertion. It's a great combination, and terrific separate as well. Variety is good. Remember to change the fantasy if it isn't working anymore, getting you hotter, just shift to another. In the beginning it is good to have a few plots in reserve for moments when our mind wanders to the mundane and you have lost that "fantasizing" feeling. Adjust your vibes, change position, change combinations and return to your fantasy when thoughts of people or stressful life events invade your mind.

Persevere.
If you don't get off right away, take a break, breathe, relax, eat something, touch yourself all over, and start the fantasy process again. There can never be failure, just learning. You are that much more experienced than you were before you began. Masturbation is an ongoing learning experience so don't put any stress on yourself to succeed immediately or every time.

Need more info, assistance, support, advice?
I am available for consultations in New York City and the surrounding metropolitan area if you want assistance in shopping for your vibes or advice on how to use them, as well as troubleshooting masturbation difficulties and obstacles. As an official disclaimer, I am not a doctor, a nurse or any member of the medical profession. Just experienced, trustworthy, kind , helpful and open. Normal. To contact me, email karenduffy1@gmail.com or call 917 447 6000.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Three Essentials for Health

Breathe deeply, sweat profusely, orgasm daily.
I have found over the course of practicing this routine that it has a profound effect on personal health and happiness.

Breathe Deeply:
This may appear to be a no-brainer. Of course we all breathe, everyday, involuntarily. There is a difference though, in breathing voluntarily and be careful, you might just pass out. Don't, please, that is not part of the recommended routine. But do, please, try this. Stand up, breath in through your nose, stretch your arms up, link your hands over your head, hold your breath, pull your arms from side to side to open up your trunk, pop those linked hands behind your head, exhale the held breath, open up your chest by pulling your elbows and shoulders back, breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth, drop your arms and relax your body, shake out all tension, even in your stomach and start to fill your lungs slowly and deeply. Concentrate on your body below your belly button and let it flop out a little, fill that space with air, open your ribcage, fill that space with air, roll your shoulders as you breathe and fill that space with air, tilt your head from side to side and stretch your neck as you breathe. Relax into a comfortable position, seated, standing or laying down and breathe. Keep your mind alert and focus on deep breaths, no napping, yet. Fantasizing? Okay. This deep breathing will assist with the third component of the three essentials for health.

Sweat Profusely:
It erases facial wrinkles. Really, they start to disappear. I am not a doctor or health professional and do not know specifically why this is, perhaps the flow of energy, of sweat, coursing through the skin, perhaps the replacement of cells, the regeneration of the body as it metabolizes, it stands to reason that the skin must replace itself and this is the only explanation I can offer for this benefit. The more you sweat, the easier it is to sweat. By working up a sweat in whatever manner you choose, lifting weights, running, swimming, trampoline, martial arts, walking, bicycling, you are keeping yourself alive. Literally. Microbiologist Lynn Margulis says "Metabolism, the incessant chemistry of self maintenance, is an essential feature of life...Through ceaseless metabolism, through chemical and energy flow, life continuously produces, repairs, and perpetuates itself. Only cells, and organisms composed of cells, metabolize." Drink water and sweat it out. Body awareness is a developed skill. If you are sweating you will be more aware of parts of your body and more able to relax and tense muscles, and to feel in tune with your physical being. This physical facet also contributes to a healthy experience of the third component of the three essentials.

Orgasm:
By yourself, at least once daily. If you can get it again with another person, all the more orgasmic power to you. For humanity, this means so much. Masturbation is one of my favorite past-times. It made me a better lover, more orgasmic with another person, more satisfied in my sex life and more confident about sex. More, more, more! Orgasmic, satisfied, confident. Who want to be less orgasmic, less satisfied, less confident? Plus, I know that it has health benefits. I have no medical proof yet, but I know. In an article in about.com's healing section, contributor Chandi Devi writes "Frequent and powerful orgasms increase the level of the orgasm hormone, oxytocin. The oxytocin level is linked to the personality, passion, social skills and emotional quotient (EQ), all of which affects career, marriage, emotions and social life. Orgasms are very beneficial for sexual health because they empower our pituitary (brain function)." So there you go. I believe masturbation and orgasm, especially for our poor sex starved sisters out there, can lead to profound changes in women's lives, and exponentially, the people with whom they share their lives.

Start today, tonight, tomorrow, but try this three fold daily routine. If you can knock down all three in one session, that is perfection. Not only will you affect your own health and happiness, but if you are feeling good, the people around you will benefit.

Future post topics include:
Fantasy and Arousal
Tools and Toys
Sexual Technique and Timing